Friday, March 16, 2012

If Marriage Is a Luxury, Go For It!

Thanks to Elizabeth Barrette for sharing this link to Yahoo (I don't e-know Nancy Cook):

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/richer-not-poorer-inequality-crisis-203047265.html

I'll share this tip for all the Donald Duck types out there who know who they ought to have married years ago, but aren't taking the plunge. Some of us may be secret homosexuals or nonsexuals. I suspect that most of the bachelors who really don't like anyone of the appropriate gender are pretty well recognized now. I suspect that most old bachelors who just keep postponing marriage may be HSP introverts who've been told that we're just too sensitive to live with anybody.

And I feel sorry for those of us who may, like C.S. Lewis for most of his life, or like me in my twenties, have experienced passionate love mainly for synergistic working partners of the same sex. It's a different kind of love, very different...and it may have lasted longer and meant more to us than any physical attraction we've had so far. In my day we were told we had deep-rooted emotional problems and needed years of expensive psychoanalysis, which we couldn't afford, to tell us it was all about our fears of either losing a part of the male body, or having to look at a part of the male body. (I doubt that anybody actually had such fears.) That was bad enough, but these days we're likely to be told that it's all about "really" being homosexual, and is that ever a false lead.

Some people who are still single after age thirty haven't met the right person yet. And yes, although the planners of our Welfare State have tried to let tax funds and social workers substitute for families, a few people still have commitments to care for relatives.

But I suspect a lot of us have simply absorbed other people's prejudices against us...and when we find each other, we're the ones who do marriage best of all.

I read male writers who share the complaint, "Whenever you hear/read a woman sharing all the good things about her husband, it's always a widow telling how wonderful he was." This is true; we tend to be superstitious. No mortal can be called either happy or perfect while living. I used to limit myself to listing seven wonderful things my husband had done, recently, at one time. Men, if you list seven wonderful things your wife has done, every day, and she does the same for you...well, one day one of you will be telling the rest of the world how wonderful the other one was.

But why waste time that could be spent enjoying that person's wonderfulness? Donald Duck, get off your fears and marry Daisy already. Whatever else is risked in marriage, two people can save a great deal of money by living together rather than separately.