Friday, November 25, 2016

Book Review You Probably Won't Even Read: Truly Tasteless Lawyer Jokes

Because this web site knows most of you aren't going to check and see that it posted a book review today, 'cos you're out shopping for "Black Friday deals":

Title: Truly Tasteless Lawyer Jokes


Author: “Blanche Knott”

Author tracked down to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashton_Applewhite (but this web site has not verified the claim made at that page, nor has Wikipedia)

Date: 1990

Publisher: St. Martin’s

ISBN: 0-312-92226-4

Length: 121 pages

Quote: “‘You see, Your Holiness,’ soothed St. Peter, ‘we have literally hundreds of popes here in heaven—but Mr. O’Flaherty is the first lawyer we’ve had in years’.”

“Blanche Knott” was the fictitious compiler of a long series of short, cheap books of Truly Tasteless Jokes sold in big-chain bookstores in the 1980s. In self-defense (which I realize is dangerous in court…Aaack! This book’s getting to me!) I’ll say that I never actually bought any of them. I acquired one from a friend who was briefly married to a Truly Obnoxious lawyer. (Won’t mention his name, but although he still lives in Scott County he’s known for talking about how much better he liked the part of Virginia from which he came…so we know there must be a reason why he’s not gone back there. Henrico County readers? You're welcome.)

“When the lawyer died…he protested vehemently. ‘I’m…too young to die…I’m only forty-seven years old!’…‘According to your time sheets, you’re ninety-six’.”

“The Devil leaned forward and continued, ‘And in payment, all I would ask for is your eternal soul. Think it over.’ The lawyer…considered…[and] finally demanded, ‘What’s the catch?’”

“‘[Y]ou don’t even know whether my client is living or dead?’ thundered the lawyer…`Quite true,’ replied the doctor…‘His brain is in a jar on my desk in the morgue, but the rest of him might well be out practicing law somewhere’.”

Etc. etc. etc. If you are angry at a lawyer, it’s funny. (There used to be collections of Truly Tasteless Jokes organized around other targets; I think one was about all fifty United States, in alphabetical order, two or three pages per State.)  So you can have my copy of this book, cheap. The “jokes” quoted here are merely mean. Further into the book they get obscene.

It is not a Fair Trade Book. “Blanche Knott” obviously does not intend to be contacted and, even more obviously, has no charity. Nevertheless, if you want them, you can buy Truly Tasteless joke books here for the usual rate of $5 per book + $5 per package + $1 per online payment (and you could fit several of these books into one $5 package). Please send payments to either address at the very bottom of the screen.