Monday, March 26, 2012

Daimler-Benz Now Rents Cars

Steve Milloy shares what sounds like a blooper: Is the luxury car company agreeing that owning a car is not a good thing?

I'm not sure why they're launching a rental business in Washington, D.C. Has something terrible happened to Flexcar?

However, as a writer who's consistently chosen to rent a car (once every few years) rather than own one, I can share just the short list of reasons why not owning a car can be a very good thing.

1. You care about the environment. Groan...isn't all about debunking the global warming fakery? Yes, and we salute them for doing that. However, cars still dribble oil into the water and exude carbon monoxide (the really toxic gas) into the air, and contribute to local warming.

2. You care about people. As in, you don't want to kill them. You may have heard attempts to scare you with statistics about how many Americans are killed by firearms every year? Cars kill many times more Americans than firearms do. And you don't even have to be mad to kill or maim a few dozen innocent children at a time; all you have to do is fall asleep, or become ill, while your car is rolling in the direction of a school bus.

3. You care about money. No matter how cheap a car and how limited a liability policy you've chosen, and how infrequently you drive, a car costs at least as much per month as a child does. I'd rather adopt the child. If I'm going to spend that much money, I want to spend it on something that will hug me back.

4. You care about your health and beauty. Walking peels off pounds, reduces stress, and boosts immunity. Driving immobilizes your body, packing on pounds in ugly places, and subjects you to stress and eyestrain.

5. You care about your community. A neighborhood where people are walking about automatically warns off criminals (lots of witnesses) and invites business (some of those people are probably shopping, which means there are probably bargains on sale).

That's only the short list, Gentle Readers. If I hadn't come to the computer center for other purposes I could give you 25 reasons not to own a car, easily. Last but not least of which would be:

You care about choosing your friends wisely. If you don't own a car, certain types of people will think you're weird. Think about those people's reasoning process. It feels wonderful to cross them off your social list forevermore!