Why This Librarian Dumps E-Books

Warning: The Librarian In Black uses raunchy language and adult concepts to explain some of the other reasons why your local library needs to avoid wasting money on e-books. Adults should, however, read her insightful commentary; it contains lots of profession-specific information that would not have occurred to you simply because you're mature, intelligent, and frugal.

http://librarianinblack.net/librarianinblack/2012/08/ebookssuckitude.html

I'm disgusted by libraries that fill their shelves with things that aren't Real Books. I'm not actually attached to paper; in theory some other substance might be discovered that might be more durable, practical, mold-resistant, etc., than paper is. (On the other hand, I'm not terribly concerned about books being made from dead trees, because trees are a renewable resource. My privet hedge alone generates enough waste wood every summer to exceed the volume of books I buy, and a book is a better use of surplus privet branches than anything else I've heard of anyone doing with them.)

I am, however, deeply attached to the liberating quality of books. You don't have to be able to buy a lot of other stuff to benefit from Real Books. All you have to do is learn a skill, which many people are able to figure out all by themselves and other people are willing to teach free of charge, and then find some source of light, and you can read anything, any time, anywhere, forever. Abraham Lincoln became a great lawyer and president, without even finishing grade school, because he had Real Books. Ellen White became a great scholar and writer, without finishing grade school, because she had Real Books. I know people who are alive today, who come across to others as reasonably well educated, who never finished grade school but educated themselves with Real Books.

Real Books are something in which I, as a taxpayer, want to invest. Real Books for the masses increase the chance that I'll be able to find competent help if I become disabled, or that my nephews will be able to have decent lives if the big spenders succeed in destroying the American economy.

Electronic "media" are something I think people can and should purchase for themselves. Let them choose the piece of future toxic waste for which they want to be responsible. I, as a taxpayer, don't want to be responsible for any electronic waste, whether it's microfilm or dinner-plate-size "hard disks" (if you remember those you're at least on the edge of geekhood) or five-inch floppy disks or three-inch solid objects that were still called floppy disks (I still use those) or the cutting-edge CDs my home computer was built to use (new computers don't read those either) or tapes or I-Pods or whatever the latest five-year fad may be. I'll admit to owning a little of it at home, but I accept no responsibility for siphoning money out from under Real Books, schools, and literacy programs to share the blame for the toxic waste with the whole town or county.

I want to DEFUND libraries that persist in purchasing any object that's usable only to those members of the community who've bought a particular gadget. I want libraries to receive funding only when they purge their shelves of the elitist and earth-hostile e-garbage and restock those shelves with books. And that means worthwhile books--fiction, maybe, if it contains some fresh and worthwhile theme other than somebody's doomed effort to describe adultery or murder in fresh words, but when I say "light reading" I mean things like history, cookbooks, campaign biographies...but that's a separate rant, really.

Though I did want to mention that (a) Andrei Codrescu just sent me a review copy of Bibliodeath, which youall will probably enjoy, too, after copy-editing is complete and the finished book reaches the market, and (b) Glenn Beck did not send me a review copy of Cowards before putting it on the market, and he should have done, because some of the endnotes in the copy I've found are messed up. This is my idea of fun light reading for the summer. I've been meaning to share some thoughts on Anne Lamott's Some Assembly Required and David Limbaugh's Great Destroyer, too, when I get the online time; both books are right here at the computer center for easy reference, but all summer the building's been full of screeching infant entertainment and nobody's had any reasonable amount of time to write anything online.

Libraries and computer centers don't really mix. Computer centers need to go private. That's another separate rant.

And what can writers do, if librarians don't buy e-books? Why...if e-books have been successful...we can print them, of course. We can keep the right to sell printed versions of anything we've allowed to be published as e-books. If we seriously believe in our books, we can actually win this game.

Long live the Librarian In Black. May her tribe increase. And for the rest of us...there's an election coming up, and whether your elected officials are up for reelection or not, they already have your legal name on a list somewhere. So, let's all write/print those Real Letters to our elected officials, indicating our votes in favor of keeping Real Books available at the public expense and keeping the electronic "media" private hobbies for those who want and can afford to fiddle with them.