About today's Big News Story...I can't claim to have been even a fan of Charlie Kirk's, and I'm not going to try. I hear videos (don't even try to watch them) that happen to be shared by friends who want to discuss them. His weren't the ones. He was by all reports a decent man. He died far too young. Thoughts, prayers, and respect go out to those who knew him. These links are for people for whom this is a work day, though we respect those who are mourning.
I'll say this, though. Though Mrs. Kirk has long blonde hair, the photos of the family remind me strangely of the Kennedy family in 1961.
Animals
Something to look for when doing tourist duty in North Carolina. Elk would be less likely to be seen on the Tennessee side, but you never know. The Tennessee side of the border is a little less "touristy," I think, a little more "real."
Economy, Global Indicators of
All I said was, when a photo of Stacey Dash popped up on X (finally, I've only followed her for I think four years since I last saw anything from her there), that some people look good with curls. I think Dash does. Within hours two cute girls from India, who might be sisters, who probably shouldn't be using the Internet without parental supervision, were DM'ing me for help publishing photos of themselves as models. Either they have a scam going and send these things to everyone in the US they find, or there's a shortage of modelling opportunities in India for cute girls with long curly hair.
Men's Issues
Is hating men considered cute and trendy these days? Really hating men, as distinct from wisecracking about them? It may be...in the social circles of women who've been harmed by men. Biology does not predispose women to homicidal competition for competition's sake--that's a male thing--but we do have the same capacity for vindictiveness that men have, and easy access to SSRI drugs makes it easy for some women to act on their vindictive thoughts.
We must not blame women as a group (although we can blame individuals who commit violent crimes). We must accept that women have valid reasons to be angry, and work on helping women address those reasons rather than directing their anger toward innocent people who seem like safer targets.
I was what (a biologist describing the way some male insects bite into the females' shells while mating, quoted by May Berenbaum) called "a minimally damaged female." My father was strict, rigid, oldfashioned, quick-tempered, verbally abusive, and widely considered impossible to talk to, but he affirmed that he would have died for any of his children and I never doubted that. My brother was my best buddy. I remember all but one of my ex-boyfriends with good will; I remember even that one with pity. Whether my business has been booming or bust, the best long-term relationships with clients have been about 2/3 female, but the vast majority of clients have been male. I've liked and learned from most of the men I've known. And yes, I still feel angry about the fact that girls and young women are harassed and molested and yes, even today, sometimes even raped, wherever they go, even in their parents' or eventually their husbands' homes.
I "get" the motive for rape--males who know they're not Real Men and never will be probably do like the idea that the most sensitive and vulnerable parts of their bodies can be used to injure somebody, if only easily intimidated females--but for the life of me I can't understand why we're allowing girls to grow up feeling too squeamish to go for those sensitive parts if these guys presume so far as to need to be told "Back off." Why are we not teaching little boys that, if another person does not hold eye contact and smile, they need to lower their eyes and move briskly along, not saying a word?!
It's easy to understand why women who were abused or abandoned by their male relatives, raped by their ex-boyfriends, beaten by their ex-husbands, etc., do feel a tremendous amount of anger. It's certainly appropriate for men to feel very cautious about exposing their sensitive parts. Pushy behavior from males may cause them to be mistaken for rapists and yes, THANK GOD, that no longer means they're likely to "score"--or even necessarily survive. It's unfortunate, though, that a woman who has had bones broken by an ex-husband is likely to avoid him and dump her anger on a nice, patient, gentle man who wants to be a father-substitute for her children--or on the children themselves. Women are socialized to deny their anger and this causes that anger to come out in some very sick ways.
The writer of the article linked below may turn out to be another paid gender traitor, but I'm sharing the article for the observation that "Real women...lament the shortage of strong partners." It is so true. Women who had decent fathers living in the homes of their childhood do not want father-figures. We don't have a lot of tolerance for condescending assumptions about our not being able to take care of ourselves. But is it too much to ask that men, even at age sixty, be able to pull their own weight?
I lament the shortage of men my age who want more out of our remaining years than to flop down in front of a television set and rot. I was really attracted to a man who was still working construction, when he was the age I am now, but I'd happily settle for one who was content to settle down and keep a store. I have no time to waste on the ones who just want to flop and grope, whining "I've worked for forty years and now I want to retire," and "If it's too late to have babies why should we wait for marriage?", and "Why not just sell the house and the land and the business and move into a nice little flat in the city." I don't know a single man my age (I do know just a few married ones) who is "strong" enough, if not to run his own business, at least to be a competent helpmate and housekeeper while I run mine.
I suspect, from her use of "dogwhistle" words, that Gilda Carle's next article will encourage men to choose the variety of women I call man traps. They don't mean their men any harm. They may be kind and even indulgent wives, if they've waited long enough that they are real women and not little girls in women's bodies. They are, however, a bit...Golgafrinchan. If men don't get bored and leave them first, they are the ones who will lie on the couch and decompose beside the sort of men who are single at sixty.
Considering the Real Women I've observed, beside whom a man whose brain is still active would want to live beyond age sixty...I feel an article coming on. But not today.
Meanwhile, from North Carolina comes this:
What can men do? People look at the small, scared Black guy cringing against the wall and the older man trying to stay out of it, and they see that hulking thug in the two men who were obviously scared of him. Is this fair? Is this right?
It's not, but men have to make it change. The woman might have been able to change what happened on that video, in the rest of which the big Black guy battered and stabbed the little blonde. The men, especially the two of them together, would have had a better chance.
The story is told of the karate master who was riding a train with one of his students when a drunk boarded the train. The drunk wasn't murderous--yet--but he was mean. He shoved and stepped on people, snarled angrily when someone complained. The student expected the karate master to rise up and knock the breath out of the drunk. Instead the karate master spoke to the drunk in a friendly way. "What have you been drinking? Sake? I like sake, too. I used to drink sake with some friends back in..." They got into a conversation about drinking, and friends, and home towns. The karate master deftly steered the drunk's mind into a sentimental mood...and the drunk apologized to everyone he had shoved and stepped on.
Not all of us are that good.
Nevertheless...looking at that scene, just before the murder, I do think: Four to one? We can take him, no trouble. If the other three people are willing to do their bit. Four people can subdue one person, usually without touching him, when the one person sees the four pairs of eyes looking at him.
Say, "Hey."
Say, "Hey man, what's up? Why are you hitting that chick?"
Chances are good that he'd say "I'm not hitting anybody."
Say, "We all saw you hit her. You, both of you, need to sit back down and wait for the Metrocops," or whatever they call the Charlotte equivalent of Metrocops.
Or he might say, lying through his teeth, "Cos she's my [rude word for a prostitute] and she's been [rude words for doing worse things than that]."
Say, "Well, you need some help with that. You can't just beat up a person who is that much smaller than you are. Just sit tight. Help is on the way."
There are not a lot of men who will become violent if all four of the other people are watching them. He would probably have sat down and gone quietly. Even when they're stoned, most people remember that four people are just enough to immobilize their two hands and two feet.
There are Black men who could do more in a scene like this. Christian, Rastafarian, Muslim, even Buddhist men could get spiritual. Even a Humanist who doesn't believe in the Great Spirit could appeal to public spirit. "What'you trying to do? Start a race war? Brother, you better leave that girl alone. .. She's some White man's problem. Let him deal with her."
Some men (or women) might say, "I can't do that. Even on a work team with people I know, I'm just not a leader." They could learn the skills, but other forms of distraction might serve their needs even better.
"I'm sicker/crazier than you are" has been known to work as a distraction. No direct challenge to a violent person is necessary to distract him enough to allow a prospective victim to run away. Anyone can start a loud, lively conversation with an imaginary friend--about sports or music, not about the immediate situation. Some people have the ability to faint, vomit, etc., when they're frightened; this can be useful. It's also worth the trouble to memorize a song you can belt out; I like "Jesus Saviour Pilot Me." A person who liked to live dangerously might touch the violent man's sleeve, smile, and say something bizarre--"Could I have your autograph please? You are Marshawn Lynch, aren't you?" or "My friend over there, you can't see him, he's from outer space, anyway he says..."
"But that's dangerous! He might decide to kill me instead of her!" He might. All kinds of things might happen. The train might explode. The city might be demolished by a stray asteroid sucked into Earth's gravity field. The violent man might have a heart attack. The question is whether you did all you were able to do. You are the whatever-your-name-is of wherever-you're-from..."No, that's my father, or the Metrocops, or the government. They are supposed to take care of things." Maybe, but if they are not there, you're what is there in their place. You are there for a reason.
Because the short guy (a teenager?) and the woman (his mother? grandmother?) got up and walked away, and the older man did nothing, scumbag felt empowered to commit murder.
Don't let things like that happen, men. Even if you are Black. Even if you hate your local police...four to one! What are they going to do?
It was because people didn't stand up to violent criminals that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, according to the prophet Ezekiel. Homosexual rape is an abomination but there has never been and will never be a city where anything like a majority of the population are tempted to it. If the gang who threatened the angels in the shape of young men had been Sodom's worst sinners, the angels could have dealt with them and the rest of the city would probably not have missed them. Because Sodom and Gomorrah were places where people let poor people starve, let young men be raped, and let other bad things happen, they were destroyed.
I once ignored a cry for help, telling myself it was just another stupid freshman goofing around. The word "sodomy" means something else because the word "cowardice" had already been invented to describe the real sin of Sodom.
Painters, Opportunities for
The young woman who was murdered in Charlotte was called Iryna Zarutska. She had a pretty face and some rich men have created a fund to award $1000 grants to painters who think they can paint a likeness of that face into a mural in "prominent locations" in their cities.
A better memorial to this poster girl for hatecrimes against women might be a year-long curfew on males in Charlotte, requiring all men and boys over age two to stay in their homes unless escorted by a responsible woman. Women would be the first to complain, but they'd benefit.
Anyway, if you're good at drawing faces, e-mail: katie@eoghan.com .
Poetry
Elegy for Charlie Kirk: