Years ago, I wrote an Associated Content Top Ten List of raccoon names for someone who had run through Rocky, Rikki, Ringtail, Bandit, and was starting on color names. Let's face it: raccoons, unlike cats and dogs, don't show enough color variation to make color names really fit. I proposed naming raccoons after famous people known for looking good in sunglasses.
It occurs to me, now that JPGs are easier to find and browsers can handle lots of them, that that list really needed some fair-use photos. If your friends do not immediately grasp the reference, you can show them the picture of the celebrity in whose honor you named the raccoon. All photos from Google.
It is not thinking "Will you be my mother, snuggle me on your lap, and give me a cute name?" It is thinking "This is my property. All edible, shreddable, breakable, clawable, or sleepworthy things belong to me." It probably won't answer to its name but you might as well pick one that's good for a smile.
Jennifer Garbagecaniston
Eraccoon Badu
Joan Diditagain
Amelia Earocorn (she always pushed them up on her head for photo-ops, but she wore them!)
Greta Garbagecans
Coonella Harris (Yes! Kamala Harris finally found some decent-looking jeans that fit! Cheers!)
Mapachita Nyongo
Rackie Onassis
Hillary Rodham Ringtail
Melania Rump (sorry, couldn't help it; she loves and wears her sunglasses so well, she's been known to wear them at night!)
And for the males, we have:
Harry Belacoontail
Chow Lean-Fat-Whatever-I-Want-It-All
George Hairyson
Raccoon James
Offmylawn Musk
Rick Naughty
Rack Obama
Raccoon Petty
Bruce Springstraps
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