Belated Tortie Tuesday SEO Cat Post (Updated)

At the time of writing my steadiest paying job is writing SEO guest posts. I could still be making more money, and recently a prospective client asked to see the SEO posts I've been contributing to a growing forum site.

Y'know what? I don't even have links myself. They're published anonymously, mostly in translation, at an academic forum site based in Europe. They all answer academic questions that have SEO potential. I never know which language(s) a post may be translated into. And it'd be a violation of contract to tell you if I did.

But since it's Tortie Tuesday and this web site closed with a cat cliffhanger last week, here is a Tortie Tuesday update written in SEO format...one of them. Different web sites use different SEO rules. Since this web site is bookish and wordy, let's try the SEO rules other people have worked out for forum posts by analyzing what works for Quora. If you're familiar with the Quora rules, seeing them applied to this topic may be funny. (The keywords were, of course, "Samantha," "Serena," and "Traveller.") If you're not, well, I'll try to make the cats' post mildly amusing anyway.

(Update: At the time of writing I mentioned not using Quora because they snubbed me because I post under my screen name. This changed; I now have some posts at Quora, some SEO and some not.)

"Question from Anonymous:

Tortie Samantha, what's going on with your outrageous daughter, Junior Queen Serena, and her mysteriously tiny, non-Manx, non-tortie, and non-calico kittens? I've been waiting all weekend to learn whether those kittens are really hers and whether they’ve survived. What about Traveller? Is he still around? But mostly I want to know about you, Samantha. I'm a great fan of yours."

Answer:

Samantha: "This woodbin belongs to me!"

Serena still has four tiny, skinny, long-tailed kittens--two white with black spots, and two white with gray spots. After giving birth, she continued to look pregnant for a few days, but only because she had packed on some fat to make milk. (If our human had not been hiding indoors, she would probably have noticed that. Humans are thick but not all that thick.)

She now looks as trim and healthy as Manx cats ever do. They are a wide-framed, heavy-coated breed. Although my daughter is only a small part Manx and has a complete tail, she's doomed to go through life being described as "that big fat cat" whether she has fat on her ribs or not.

Traveller is still around, complaining about the quality of the kibble we get. Well, I think the kibble we got this weekend was foul too, but you don't hear me complaining! You see me chasing squirrels.

But enough about the younger generation. First of all I'd like everyone to read this web page, which is so, so true: "If you're friends with a Samantha, you should consider yourself very very lucky."

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Samantha

Of course my name literally means "listener," which suits me, because I am a Listening Cat, but that urban slang definition suits me even better!

All of our favorite feline friends are doing well. Fight with each other? Not so much. Male cats don't hang out together, but what a thrill it was when Burr and Trav banded together to protect my precious daughter and grandkittens!

They have a lovely little home, all lined and covered with layers of quilts and blankets, and of course we dragged in a few pieces of our human's clothing. It was warm and had fresh human scent on it.

Finally, no, I'm not pregnant. My husband Burr and I have yet to decide on having other kittens. I don't want to travel, but at my age (two) I'm not growing younger and may want to make a movie first, or pose for a cat glamour magazine.

I am such a total glamour puss!

"Comment from Tickle:

Serena looks quite a lot like her grandmother Irene.

Serena: "I'm the Queen Cat around here."

Irene, when she was about the age Serena is now: "You photographed Ivy first? Whyyy?"

Irene was a sweet, kind cat--she was our aunt, and "mothered" Tickle and me--so I like that look. It's not what I usually find attractive though.

But, is Burr a husband? Cats don't have weddings. Of course, if we're social cats who bond with friends, those of us who can have kittens can choose to do that with our friends. Yes, I still love Inky, but there's nothing exclusive about it. Maybe what we have is what humans would call an open marriage.

And, since when has Samantha had wanted to be a movie star? I don't see an IMDB page for her! Maybe she fancies herself as a singer, because she and young Burr certainly get together and make some noise. Maybe they'll travel as a band! I do like her, though, and her daughter too, at least when they're interested in producing good-looking kittens.

Comment from Traveller:

Tickle moved out before our human learned about SEO writing--using relevant words, trending words, and their synonyms to produce an article that answers a question intelligently while also activating the right computer algorithms. I see Samantha as more athlete than actress. She can jump five feet straight up in the air. I think Serena is prettier. Don't you agree?