(There's a reason why I was prompted to write this by seeing a cartoon strip, rather than observing any of The Nephews at home. The Nephews were all good examples of how this teaching/parenting tip does work...even if only one of the full-time resident adults in their homes was using it.)
Why Calvin lets a simple request to do a quick chore curdle his experience of his summer vacation...
Well, because he's a horrid little brat, of course. That's the point of the strip. Named for a writer who said that most people just aren't destined for eternal happiness, Calvin just isn't destined to have a happy childhood. He has no friends. Even his own parents don't like him. Even his favorite toy is someone he imagines fighting with more than someone he loves. But Calvin does things real children do when they're caught up in passing clouds of stupidity, so how do we (adults and children) keep simple requests from curdling vacations, or weekends?
Calvin's parents could try considering his personality. Calvin shows little evidence of a moral sense, but he is a self-starter. He doesn't wait for permission or instructions. He has his own plans for every minute of every day. He does not like any interruption of those plans, even when it seems to adults that all he's doing is playing with a toy.
For kids like Calvin, playing, or reading, or listening to the radio, are work; the kids are learning things, even if those things aren't spelled out in the curriculum for their age group.
So how can those kids do the work they assign themselves while also making some sort of contribution to the family where they're getting free rent, meals, and chances to do their self-assigned work?
Short answer: Parents need to plan. This is difficult for some parents, like the poor little hypothyroid patient who got so many Calvin-like reactions out of me when I was older and deserved spankings more than Calvin in the cartoons. Whether just screaming for the child to drop everything and do something for you, when you feel like it, is merely an ego trip or is partly justified by somebody's disease condition, it's not going to work well with a child who has per own agenda for the day. Parents can get a lot more work out of the same child if they get up early in the morning, make plans, tell the child what's expected, and let the child make per own plans for the rest of the day--after they've done their chores.
Suppress any urge to yell "Yoo-hoo, Calvin, come and take out the garbage now" unless that's a punishment for his not having taken out the garbage on schedule. Instead, make it part of the family schedule that Calvin will collect and put out all the garbage after supper.
Forget about "Hey, Calvin, come and peel the potatoes now." Instead, announce at breakfast, "I want to make a stew for supper. If you come in and clean and cut up the potatoes for the stew at five o'clock, Calvin, we might have time to bake cookies."
If you feel tempted to holler "Calvin, come and tend this bean patch now," punish yourself with a forfeit: You didn't put it on the day's schedule, so you tend the bean patch. Next time you'll remember to say, "Calvin, I'd like to see the bean patch cleaned up by midday," at breakfast. Better yet, by next year Calvin will be responsible for the bean patch; if he loses crop yields to weeds or beetles, there goes his pocket money, without a word out of you.
Even parents who are bringing up the sort of child who does want to be told what to do, and how to do it, at every step, need to think about whether that's the way to teach the child anything. This child may seem easier to live with than Calvin is; may be more motivated by adult attention rather than by actual learning, or may in fact be a slower learner, but in any case seems more fun to teach things to. But are you actually teaching the child anything? After guiding the child through every step a few times, it's good to let the child remember what to do next. If he forgets to empty one of the wastebaskets into the main garbage bag, he has to go back and do that step later,
What about the middle school reader who may be saying, "Yes, but one or the other of the adults at my house is too sick, lazy, stupid, disorganized, hung-over, or whatever, to make plans and teach me how to do things on a sensible schedule?" You have my sympathy. My mother was too ill to make plans for a few years. I talked back and acted bratty and felt very sorry for her because I remembered when she'd had more use of her brain. Fortunately I didn't act too bratty to be able to work with and learn from her when she was thinking clearly--after changing to stronger medication, or eventually learning how to get herself off the medication.
(Some kids, like Huckleberry Finn, really do have to leave a dysfunctional adult alone to destroy per own life while the kids find alternative parent-figures. That situation is too awful to be addressed in a random blog post. We are talking here about adults who are basically competent, but, perhaps because nobody helped them form the habit of planning the day's chores in the morning, aren't doing that for you.)
A better plan than whining and acting bratty would be to take over part of the adult's role on behalf of this unfortunate adult in your family. If person is hypothyroid (or hung-over) person probably sleeps later than you do. Practice getting up very quietly so you can tidy up the mess person very likely left in the kitchen and cook breakfast, or go out and pick the vegetables in the garden, or whatever you know needs to be done at your house. Get it right: your sick relative is likely to feel very defensive when you act more like a responsible adult than person does, and may try to defend per ego by whining that you've done the chore all wrong. If what needs to be done is something you've not done before, let the adult show you how to do it, on whatever schedule person is capable of moving on. It will probably be enough of a good healthy shock if you bring the adult breakfast in bed and say "Could you show me how to fix the porch steps today, please?"
In any case, your strategy is to do more useful work around the house all by yourself than person can get out of you by nagging and spoiling your day.
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