I am too. We still don't know whether it's a reaction to continual glyphosate exposure in the area, as the road workers seem hellbent on using up all of their existing supply on Scott County for the express purpose of killing me, or a virus going around. Suffice it to say the teenager's whole family were draggy all week, the teenager's cat is in the veterinary hospital as well, the teenager has been having relapses of mononucleosis for some time but recently started fainting and vomiting, and the teenager's doctor wants to run some special expensive tests nobody can afford...and me?
I woke up this morning feeling draggy. Well, it was a dark dreary morning, hardly daylight by 8:15 when the car pool came by. It was raining.
I was still working on a document on the pathetic little old laptop I call the Sickly Snail. It used to have Microsoft Office, but due to "updates" it no longer has enough memory to run Office, so it runs something called OpenOffice.org. You do not want Open Office on your computer. For one thing it takes a lot of time and trouble to get your documents to look proper, the way they do in Word. For another thing, after you've gone to that time and trouble, the company manages to send out little "updates"--even when you're not online--that restore the settings that make your nice printable documents look like e-mail or something, all over again.
Remember those old 1980s jokes about a Cursor being someone whose computer is full of Bugs, and Boot being what a Cursor is likely to do on finding a Bug in the system, and Windows are what you hope the Cursor does not Boot the computer through...?
Open Office is free to download, but it attacks you with these horrible updates that force you to turn off the automatic "correction" of people's names into words that look a bit like them, and turn on the correction of "straight quotes," and restore Times Roman as the default font, and all of those things, all over again, and over, and over. Sometimes as it might be just before breakfast, when you were close to having a document ready to upload and post.
And what the BLINKING BLEEP is making it even possible for this attack to take place when the computer is miles away from a modem or a wireless connection? Who is spying on my little Snail?
We need FCC protection from this kind of thing. I don't have the Internet in my home. I don't even have a land phone in my home. No "smart" device that connects to the Internet should be able to start in my home. My home is being violated! Whoever is connecting to the Snail, I suspect the telephone company, should have to snip up every wire, smash everything with a microchip in it, have their electrical wires yanked out of the walls, have wherever they are permanently disconnected from so much as an electric light bulb for the rest of their lives, and have to pay me a couple million dollars for SPYING AND HARASSMENT!
Also OpenOffice.org should be required to guarantee that, if allowed to "update" the security codes for their software, they must do so without changing any of The Owner's settings. All computer owners' names, as far as they're concerned, are The Owner, and when The Owner is using the computer they must not touch it, and if The Owner allows it to connect to the Internet OpenOffice can send its "updates" programmed to self-install after the computer is turned off, but one little tweak to The Owner's settings should cost OpenOffice.org serious money for wasting The Owner's times. Open a new document, see ragged right-hand margins, collect $500!
Anyway I was in the process of cleaning up this nasty mess OpenOffice somehow managed to dump on the poor li'l Snail when the car pool arrived, and I grabbed a dress out of the closet, and it had lost a crucial button in the wash, so instead of looking for another outfit in the closet I just threw on what I'd yanked off last night, and the car pool were grumpy too. Probably having the same reaction I was. And if anybody imagines I wore this dress overnight at some man's house, they should pity that man, whoever they imagine him to be.
For a monogamous middle-aged lady whose Significant Other has become "old" due to Lyme Disease, and who can hardly wait to see how much "youth" he recovers when we get glyphosate banned, I do seem to figure in a lot of local baby-boomers' fantasies about what they think they'd do if they still had black hair and straight backs. Some of them have pretty weird fantasies, too.
So then I opened my e-mail and got some bad news, and halfway through reading it had to bolt to the bathroom with celiac sprue. By this time my coffee had cooled down enough to be sipped. Maybe caffeine would give me a little energy. It did give my body a little energy. What my body did with that energy was to start to feel feverish.
Earlier this morning I'd been working on the long-promised post about how the Democrats are preparing to throw this election away, by failing to have any real platform except WE HATE TRUMP AND ALL OTHER REPUBLICANS BECAUSE THEY ARE NASTY PEOPLE, which is just the thing to tell a bipartisan swing voter to be sure to vote for any and all Republicans within range. Some R's are nasty people, but it's not as if some D's weren't...oh why even go there?
I am not "red," although some other people at this web site are. I am not "blue." My party color, if I had one, would be green--True Green, not Poison Green, which unfortunately describes the leaders of the so-called Green Party. Humans are political animals but our whole polis is sick these days.
I needed to turn off these uncheering thoughts and get on with a paid post about a business that has an odd, misleading name. I looked at their web page. I could not think of anything to say about them. I kept thinking about how the D's have become the party of violent haters these days, while the party of a Bankruptcy Billionnaire who has never been even "red," but always orange...
Why, I thought, shuffling back to the bathroom for another round of celiac sprue, which is mostly messy and embarrassing but not exactly painless either...why was I born? Why do I live? When do I get to die? The sooner the better. I feel too tired to live...
Rational adults don't entertain thoughts like that for very long, but we do have them. We have just lived long enough to recognize them as what they are, which is symptoms. If persistent they might be diagnosed as a mental illness. They are more or less typical of mononucleosis, which most adults have had. They go with the soreness in the not yet swollen nodes I'm also feeling right now.
Yes, young people, adults do have Those Days.
Some days are diamond, John Denver sang, and some days are stone, and some days are just plain raw sewage and there's no doing anything about it.
I do not want to join the simpering chorus of morons telling you to paste on a fake smile, on days like this. I recommend, if you do feel a fake smile coming on, on a day like this, that you slap your face good and hard and admit: "No, I'm not 'fine.' I may be coming down with something. Stay away from me."
I also recommend that, as a point of legal policy, our society should offer no redress for anybody who is stupid enough not to hear that and immediately back away, saying, "Sorry I bothered you hope you feel better soon" as they back. You don't have the energy to do anything violent, but you should have a perfect legal right to spit in their faces, call them formerly unprintable names, and wish them a fatal case of whatever you've got, if you feel like that.
The good news is that after living through a certain number of this kind of days and learning that they do pass, we do learn to stop taking them seriously. They're symptoms. They're part of an immune system overreaction that goes with mononucleosis. When you know this you do develop an ability to laugh at this 0kind of mood.
Laughing helps it dry out and blow away faster.
So, if the teenager with mono sees me laughing today...no, Junior, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at mono, which I had off and on for most of two years, which was less bad than some of the Michigan Group of ME/EBV/CFS/ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP or whatever people wanted to call the kind of mononucleosis-aggravated-by-hepatitis we got from a certain batch of MMR vaccine while in Michigan. It was definitely more unpleasant than measles, mumps, and rubella together. It was good, or bad, for many of Those Days.
Eventually you do build up some immunity and feel normal and chipper again, most of the time. Years go by in between reruns of Those Days and, when you do come to one, you laugh.
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