Swimmer (kitten): We're not Torties, either.
Silver (kitten): Only our grandmother is.
Samantha: A Tortie or "tortoise-shell-color" cat is mostly black with orange and usually a few white spots.
Serena: We Calico cats, who are basically white with some black or gray and orange spots, have traditionally been included in Tortie Tuesday, although we are of course more attractive cats.
Samantha: You think?
Serena: I know. I know everything because I'm the Queen Cat, even if that makes you a sort of honorary queen-mother cat. It also makes Silver and Swimmer princess cats and, no, I've not forgotten that our human--disgracefully--allowed some stranger to take my other two kittens away. Some kittens, like my other litter, just don't come into this world to stay, but Stache and Felix were my family and no human has any right to interfere with us.
PK: Actually, I've never thought I'd miss Silver and Swimmer either.
Samantha: Though you will admit they're very nice, very clever, very well-behaved kittens.
PK: The whole litter have always been incredibly well-behaved. I can hardly believe, myself, what a good job Serena and you did bringing them up. Who ever imagined kittens who, when they were sick, would rest in a box until it was time for their medicine, then quietly come out of the box and line up beside the desk to wait for their doses? Who ever imagined kittens who would wait outside the door, after dinner, to be brought indoors for the night? They really are fantastic kittens. It's probably because they're so well-mannered, never wanting to take attention away from their mother and grandmother, that I've not really bonded with them. They are tame cats, but not really pets--not quite.
Serena: You're my human, not theirs. It's that simple.
PK: Right. So although they're very nice kittens, and the good behavior of the whole litter has always amazed me, they've not shown much individual personality to me. They stick close to you and Samantha and do as they're told, in a group.
Samantha: Purr! Purr!
Serena: We've all enjoyed the milder weather this weekend. Last weekend was very cold.
PK: Down in the single digits one night. Samantha behaved very well, sharing her Samantha Box with the rest of you...
Samantha: Because it was so cold, that's all! I would never tolerate so much crowding in my cage if the weather hadn't been cold enough to freeze a person's whiskers...and before our winter fur had quite grown in, yet.
Serena: I hope everyone realizes how cooperative I was. As a young kitten I spent a lot of time alone with you, my dear Kibble Carrier, and you used to try to play with me after your pathetic lumbering fashion. I've not given up trying to teach you to play. It's not my fault you don't have any fur, or anything that can fairly be called claws either. I am gentle with you, you must admit. It's just that your skin is so fragile. But I've never really fought or quarrelled with you about anything. I only ever play with you.
PK: Roughly, but you've never been violent. Most humans might not notice that there's a difference.
Serena: Most humans seem to be more clumsy, lazy, and ignorant than you, which makes them a pathetic species indeed.
PK: What was that clanging sound?
Samantha: It wasn't a squirrel on the roof, so who cares? Never mind it. I hope everyone realizes how, despite the silly things some people say about "tortitude," I'm much friendlier to humans than my daughter the Calico cat. I'm the one who cuddles and lets you pick me up. I even let a visitor stroke me now and then. I don't slap at people to try to start a game. You didn't think I'd ever be a good pet, when we met, but look at me now!
PK: Did I hear a door open?
Samantha: Why are you so nervous today? Twitchy! Stay here and enjoy the thin autumn sunshine with me!
Serena: No, play with me!
PK: Where'd the kittens get to?
Samantha: No, don't go inside yet...
Silver: We were only searching for food! We didn't do any harm!
Swimmer: We opened the door, and pushed the lid off the metal can that's supposed to have kibble in it. That's all. That's not bad, is it? You do it every day.
Silver: Well...that, and we did type on the computer. The smaller one. It was so warm and inviting.
Swimmer: Yes, until you made it overheat and shut itself down.
PK: Its fan is going. When you pushed it down flat on the desk, off the stack of papers it was propped against, it overheated. Oh well...it's served Grandma Bonnie Peters and me well for most of ten years.
Silver: What did we say? We know the specks on the screen say something to humans. What did my specks say?
PK: Since you kept your paw on the ` key, they look like the way Charles M. Schulz, perhaps America's greatest cartoonist, used to spell "Peep peep peep peep." When I get a new laptop I'll throw in an Amazon link to one of his cartoon books with Woodstock the bird in it.
Swimmer: Well, that wasn't it. We never say "Peep." We are not birds. What do you think we were saying?
PK: Considering that we ran out of kibble and you had rice for breakfast, could it have been "Will someone Out There please send us some more of the pricey name-brand kibble?"
Samantha: If it was that, they weren't thinking very well! What about fish? I looove mackerel!
Serena: Rice is all right if it has plenty of chicken in it.
Samantha: Tuna will do.
Swimmer: Well, yes, of course. But, considering that you believe we ought to have dry kibble for at least half of our meals, will someone Out There send us some more of the good kind?
PK: You don't deserve treats for sneaking into the office like that. You've behaved badly.
Silver: Is that what it takes to make you notice that we have personalities? A little kitty mischief?
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