This whimsical cat post is, of course, brought to you by cats. (Yes, I know this web site is overdue for a dog post. One will be coming soon. It's International Cat Day.)
Adoptable Cat #1: Ziggy from New York
You can virtually meet Ziggy at https://www.petfinder.com/cat/ziggy-52577226/ny/new-york/paul-the-cat-guy-inc-ny1376/ . He's pricey for a half-grown alley tomcat, but he's had some expensive veterinary care.
Adoptable Cat #2: Jenny & Ilene from Beltsville
Adoptable Cat #3: Andy (and Jane) from Marietta
They're not actually litter mates, but don't tell them that. If Serena were really, literally doing this post with me, she'd have to sympathize with a couple of barely-weaned kittens who've found each other and bonded, the way she and Traveller did. They can be "met" at https://www.petfinder.com/cat/andy-43311066/ga/marietta/all-paws-considered-inc-ga175/ .
Bonus Cat: J.C. from Bristol
This is definitely not our geriatric, social stray cat Sommersburr. But he looks very similar, and might be a relative. He might be another cat you would have to love even if you generally don't like the smell of male cats, like Sommersburr, whose sweet temper and good manners have earned him treats of human-quality potted meat...even from The Grouch. Find out: https://www.petfinder.com/cat/jc-52172010/tn/bristol/dos-rios-resque-tn971/ .
Now the touch of whimsy, just to annoy some people...the cat "interview."
PK: Queen Cat Serena, how do you feel about having your kittens adopted?
Serena: I was well and truly ticked off when you let those people adopt Stache and Felix, but that was because they were still little, only about the age of that Andy and Jane in the picture above, and really needed a few more months at home...
PK: They wanted kittens to cheer up their eighty-year-old mother who was dying of cancer.
Serena: Whatever. I've forgiven you but that was still a filthy trick. It may be legal to let people adopt kittens who are only three or four months old, and in the case of Biro I can understand your motives, but Stache and Felix were perfectly behaved...
PK: Not in their new home, they weren't.
Serena: Because they should not have been there! That's why! Anyway, sometimes kittens do grow up rebellious. Burly started trying to be the boss of the place and telling me, if you please, not to let you pet me, before he was a year old. Biro wanted to claim the whole porch as his territory by burying a solid mess in a bag on the porch, when he was four months old. Both of them deserved to be dragged off to a strange place to live with strangers. But you have to understand...I have to take your word that they've been adopted by nice people. Pastel and Crayola, who aren't bright enough to understand your words even if Crayola is starting to figure out that she has a name, think The Goth probably took them home to eat them.
PK: He may be a Goth, and live with dogs, but he's never been that hungry. He took them to stay with his sister and his girlfriend. Few humans would consider eating a cat.
Serena: We think humans smell and taste yucky, too. Even worse than that barely edible bag of kibble.
PK: Well, it does seem on the dry side, and does dissolve completely in water. It's hard for humans to tell about the quality of kibble. You ate that brand, and liked it, years ago.
Serena: It may have been that brand but it wasn't that quality. That kibble is just overbaked flour paste, and not even whole-grain flour at that.
PK: That bag of kibble that dissolved on contact with water, when you cats left most of it on the ground and rain fell on it, now costs two and a half times what it cost when you ate it.
Serena: Why did you let yourself be cheated so badly?
PK: I didn't. A reader who doesn't live with a cat of his own did. I advised him to take it back when I saw the price, but he didn't think it was worth making another trip into town. He said he knew it wasn't Purina Kitten Chow, which is what you cats usually eat, but it was the very last bag of cat food the Dollar General Store had. That store has built up a reputation for having the best price on decent quality cat and dog food, such that people come into town from miles away to buy those things there. So instead of buying more cat and dog food, the store has tried to inflate its profits on their cheapest brand. It's what we call inflation. It was what raised the blood pressure of every human who was old enough to buy junkfood while waiting for after-school club meetings, when I was a child. It's a kind of insanity humans get, not as individuals, but as a nation.
Serena: What cured it, then?
PK: A combination of several things. The factor people usually mention is President Reagan. Actually there was another man, unelected and not accountable to President Reagan, who probably did more to stop the inflation. But a very important part of what we did, as a nation, was to become mindful that we all needed to work with lower profits for a while to stop the insanity.
Serena: Well, I hope you can all remember to do that again. That cheap kibble is a disgrace to humans.
PK: Both the cheaper kibble and the inflated price!
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