Some Chickens Have Feathers

Some chickens have feathers; some chickens have Ph.D.'s.

I say some chickens have feathers; some chickens have Ph.D.'s.

Talk about science makes them jump and skitter just like fleas.

They say their product failed to kill most of the mice they fed it to,

They say their product failed to kill most of the mice they fed it to,

But they're afraid to find out just what, to humans, it does do.

Bayer employees have to know that it is beyond rude to tell people who are ill, "What's wrong with you can't be what you think it is." They have to know that real doctors wouldn't dare to say that unless they had a very good idea of what the correct diagnosis was. Well, luckily for science there's a dead easy way to find out whether glyphosate or something else is associated with celiac or pseudo-celiac sprue. Simply test samples of the stuff for glyphosate and compare them with normal-looking "stool samples" from the same patients. At $2000 per sample, that's not an option for the average patient, but it'd be a small sum for Bayer. Why, since Bayer shills insist that glyphosate is not causing the current epidemic of "gluten intolerance" among people who aren't even celiacs, is Bayer afraid to have some samples tested? 

They say their product works in nine times out of ten,

They say their product works in nine times out of ten;

The ones who need it most have been cheated before and they're just gon' be cheated again.

Birth control products are probably a good idea for thirty-year-old couples who want to allow a reasonable amount of time between births. Young, poor couples who buy these products still become parents. There are methods of birth control that work, and they don't even require anybody to buy anything. There are even celebrities, Bill Clinton for one, who've publicly discussed their own reliance on safe sex techniques rather than products. Why are so many people who talk about family planning afraid to talk about the approach that works?

They have a product that works, oh lord, they want to snatch it back.

They sell a product that works, oh lord, they want to snatch it back.

People liked their Tracfones; that must be where Tracfone went off track!

Memo to Verizon: There's a reason why people who've had Verizon land phone service aren't intereted in Verizon-branded cell phones. I've carried a Tracfone everywhere for years. It's been well worth its low operating cost but if you think it's made me so dependent on having a cell phone that I'd be willing to buy another phone that's going to cost more, you are mistaken. If you can't work with the phone I have you will just lose a customer. But why ever would a corporation the size of Verizon be afraid of cheap, serviceable cell phones? There's a reason.

You can't feed people plastic, poisons, or insects.

You can't feed people plastic, chemicals, or insects.

Oh, these corporations can do anything but face a few little ol' facts,

Fixing their hopes for humankind on "birth control" gadgets that don't prevent pregnancy, some corporate funders have expressed interest in insects as a base for "burgers." 

Once I bought some bad meat, said, "This is the possum's lucky day."

Oh, nasty meat that humans cannot eat really makes a possum's day.

I paid more, but the meat was still bad. I said "The company is going to pay!"

Listeria bacteria are a thing that happens on chicken farms. Most carnivorous humans develop immunity in childhood. Sometimes people who were brought up vegetarian have their first encounter with listeria as adults, which can ruin weekends or even weeks of their lives. Sometimes people who are immune-compromised die from listeria. But I'm not all that immune-compromised and, if I hadn't been in sticker shock over the price increase for Wal-Mart's cheap store brand chicken, I would just have given thanks for the ability to smell the bad meat and have a possum who can safely eat it.

Well, you say "shoo, shoo," and you can watch the chickens run,

Or you can say "why? why not?" and you can watch the corporations run..

If it weren't costing so much money, well, it might be kinda fun.