Costumes That Might Be Banned from a Church Costume Party

There's no Long & Short Reviews prompt for this Wednesday, so here's a thought I jotted down one night during the past year...

During 2025 I spent some time at one of those houses where somebody likes to share favorite television programs with visitors. We were watching one of those game show where people win prizes by answering questions, only the questions were the "We asked X demographic group this open-ended question that has a dozen or more valid answers. What did they answer most frequently?" sort of thing, rather than straightforward questions, as on "Jeopardy," with a factual answer you can look up. 

One of the questions asked people to name a costume that might be banned from a church-hosted costume party. 

The actual wording mentioned Halloween. Churches with which I'm familiar do not celebrate Halloween. Costume parties can be suggested by any occasion for which somebody has a costume and wants to wear it.

Anyway eight answers had been supplied before the contest, and the contestants took a long time guessing all eight, with many valid answers that weren't on the list and much hilarity.

We were guessing answers, too, of course. Not that anyone wanted to try out for the game show. I have thought from time to time that I might have a chance on "Jeopardy" but this was the sort of show where contestants seemed to be chosen for the ability to scream, fling their hair about, and do victory dances when they win a round.

"Nudist," "devil," and "stripper" had been filled in.

"Ku Klux Klansman," someone suggested.

"Terrorist."

"That former teacher who went missing after the child pornography was found on his computer." It is currently believed that such a character might have fled into our part of Virginia, though the report that he went off into the woods carrying a gun sounds more as if he'll be found shot in the head in the woods, near his home.

Nobody bothered to think of other "immodest" costumes for women, since "stripper" had already been mentioned. 

"Serial murderer." 

"Gangster."

"Feminazi." It is still necessary to explain, as Rush Limbaugh originally did, the difference between a feminazi, a feminist, and other varieties like the feminitwit. A feminist is anyone who believes that women are equally as valuable as men, which includes all sane people in the modern world, including some who think "feminist" is a term of contempt for a female left-wingnut. That's inaccurate. Wingnuts are wingnuts. Anyway, a feminitwit is a feminist who still believes in Socialism. A feminutcase is a feminist who believes that men can become women by choice. A femininny is a feminist, or self-proclaimed antifeminist, who believes that women are entitled to demand financial support based on their own very selective claims of incompetence. A feminazi is a feminist who believes abortion is a good thing and is happy when women "choose" abortion. There were, Limbaugh claimed when he started using the word, fewer than two dozen feminazis alive on Earth. Tragically there are still a lot of feminitwits.

"Nazi."

"Bolshevik."

"Pharmakon, the sort of witch Moses said should not be suffered to live among God's people--someone who makes or sells drugs for evil purposes." My mental picture of a pharmakon, if anyone wants to use one as a scary Halloween costume, is diverse and flexible. You could be an ancient Greek messing with mushrooms, a 1970s drug dealer handing out LSD, a modern-day narcotraficante, or maybe Dr. Fauci.

"Witch" was actually on the list, though without further clarification it suggests the cartoonish little-kid "witch" costumes sold in the Dollar Store. Sheer fantasy. The next level of cheap unimaginative costume above putting a white sheet over your head and calling yourself a ghost. Since the shapeless black dress, pointed black hat, optional green face paint, and essential broomstick aren't based on anything in real life I'm not sure whether churches would need to ban them, but I suppose they qualify as villainous characters.

Then there's the TV kind of witch, as played by Elizabeth Montgomery, who simply has psychic powers and is comically concerned about how to use them. I suppose, theologically, this kind of character might represent a spirit of confusion, but how seriously do churches take that these days?

The kind of Witch I actually know, in the real world, is a person--usually, not necessarily, either young or female--who has lost faith in prayer and is trying to cast spells instead. These are real people, usually on the self-dramatizing side but well-intentioned, who have chosen a different religion, and churches at least ought to be actively encouraging them to reconsider prayer. 

But the list of costumes the survey sample wanted to ban from church parties was much less imaginative. Apart from "witch" and "Satan," those people limited themselves to costumes for different categories of sex workers. Bah humbug!

I suppose it might be a sign of niceness if people can't think of any bad things to do or be beyond cartoon figures and sex workers, but that would have to be the kind of niceness that's very different from goodness.