Author: Alexis Lantgen
Quote: "I was standing in the middle of a particularly tacky Christmas display in a shopping mall, playing carols on my violin while obnoxious kids stuck candy canes in my hair."
This is (one can hope) the tackiest "sample" in a Book Funnel bombardment. It contains neither saints nor curses nor any of the actual story. It's a 20-page prologue-as-writing-sample. A young music student is recruited from the shopping mall display to play carols at a real elves' Yule feast.
That fantasy-as-story ends nicely. Do I want to read further, enough to buy the book? I do not. I've not been shown that anything beyond a basic wish-fulfilment fantasy is going to happen in the book, and in any case I'm waist-deep in books already. Bah humbug.
The main story might be interesting. Lantgen does have the ability to write clear sentences. However, without knowing anything at all about what the main story is, I can't say who would be likely to want to read it.
Attention self-published writers. If you want favorable reviews, you're going to have to send out some actual review copies.
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