A Stone Age guy
whose name was Murgh
was always
tinkering’round
with rocks and
twigs and beetles
and anything he
found.
He tried eating
twigs for dinner.
It only made him
sick.
He suggested trying
beetles.
His wife hit him
with a stick.
Oh, he was a
foolish fellow,
they said in those
days of yore,
always neglecting
business
to try things not
done before!
He stuck a twig
into his nose,
producing sinus
pains.
Friends said, “If
the discharge were less
we’d think it was
your brains.”
His experiments
were stupid,
all the Stone Age
folks agreed.
He was always
trying silly things
for which there was
no need.
He tried eating
poison ivy,
raised a rash on
his back end.
His best pal said,
“Don’t tell anyone
that I was once
your friend.”
It was really
almost blasphemous,
devout Stone Agers
said,
the way he ignored
their wisdom
with such notions
in his head.
He tried using fire
to dispel
the damp inside the
cave.
A spark lit on his
sleeping furs!
The whole tribe had
a close shave!
The tribal elders
said it was
a sorrow and a
shame
that this foolish
youth’s experiments
endangered their
good name
He tried to use a
rock to smash
a pimple on his
face.
His wife said, “If
a man were single
I would let him
take your place.”
Had the Jackass
Show existed then
he might have won a
prize,
but the Stone Age
did not yet reward
experiments unwise.
Five hundred or a
thousand times
he tried to burn a
stone.
At least four
hundred of those times
he caused someone
to groan:
“Murgh you fool, you’ve
put the fire out!
Won’t you please
just go away
and perish in the
wilderness
doing things in
some new way?”
And when he built a
fire so hot
it burned around a
stone,
no one could stay
inside the cave
until the fire was
gone.
And they all formed
a Society
for Murgh-Damage
Control,
discussing ways
they might subdue
this restless,
reckless soul.
And Murgh built a
great big hot fire
out in the open
air,
enough to melt a
soft, red rock!
It gave them quite
a scare!
And if this tribe
had not lived in
a dampish coastal
clime,
they might have
been wiped out by that
wildfire for all
time.
But as things were,
a storm blew up
and put Murgh’s
fire out,
and left some new,
hard, shiny stuff
for Murgh to show
about...
And that was how the Stone Age gave
way to the Iron
Age,
and subsequent
generations
then revered Murgh
as a sage.
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