What can I say? My wit is low. If I ever become senile, I want to spend my last days in Punnington Gap rather than Jokesville.
First, dog and doggerel lovers, please chortle with Mark Stone:
Here's another dog poem post...whatever you think of its quality, its form is definitely not doggerel. (Fwiw, I think it's clever.)
You see? Some people actually prefer the doggerel to the free verse. I myself think the free verse is good writing, but I don't see what makes it a poem--it's witty, insightful, whimsical prose. And either way, whimsical verse or whimsical prose, whimsy seems appropriate to writing about dogs.
In honor of Sunny the Australian Shepherd, today's Petfinder post will feature both Australian Shepherds and doggerel.
"Doggerel" is too often used merely as a term of abuse. It means verse written in easy rhymes and meters, with liberal use of cliches, as in greeting-card and obituary poems. It can be written well--with kind intentions, such as giving friends a cheerful or sympathetic message that pleases the ear, which is what Hallmark is all about, or with irony and whimsy, which is, hello, what Bad Poetry is all about. (Sometimes writers like to play mindfully with cliches, rework them, exploit them, and explode them.) Problems occur when people strain too hard, usually trying to translate a great foreign poem into an English form, and can be accused of having turned Homer or Dante into doggerel. This post, however, self-identifies as doggerel with pride. It's for readers who think puns are fun, as I do.
Now let us go to the dogs:
Zipcode 10101: Bella from Texas, Living in New York
She seems to be saying:
I wanted to see the world, and I did.
No chain-link fence can hold me.
I'm just an adventure-lovin' kid.
You think you're going to scold me?
They say you'll have to box me in behind
A snug picket fence, and a high one.
I'll keep movin' on until I find
The home I choose for my one.
Australian Shepherd pup, that's me,
With a yip and a wag and a paw-shake.
I'm young and pretty and fancy-free,
And I will my own laws make.
Some day I suppose I will settle down
And be content with the freedom
To love the home and the friends I've found,
But shelters? I don't need'em!
That's the way this half-grown Australian Shepherd crossbreed seems to think. Don't even bother if you can't offer her the home and job where she can mature into the loyal, responsible family member she was meant to be. All she's really been, so far, is eye candy and that's only got her into trouble. She needs something to manage and a kind, firm, affectionate supervisor.
Zipcode 20202: Timber from Frederick
Her web page: https://www.petfinder.com/dog/timber-58762854/md/frederick/bourbon-county-rescue-ky395/
They found this pup in a backwoods town.
"No more room; have to put her down."
Some souls inspired by Barbara Frietchie
Felt collars growing tight and itchy.
"Oh, spare this small grey furry head!
Send her to Frederick town!" they said.
Fair as the garden of the Lord,
The drive out there's its own reward.
This yearling has a lot to learn.
To learn and grow with her you yearn?
Alleged vet bills of shocking heft
Suggest pet-hating Loony Left
Influences, but maybe not.
Try haggling; give it your best shot.
The dog's a smart and handsome kind
If you can stimulate her mind,
Find her some useful work to do,
And keep her quite in awe of you.
She was not bred to love the lazy,
So know yourself; don't go eye-crazy.
If you're active of mind as she,
Then a fit for this dog you may be.
Zipcode 30303: Grandma Gemma from Georgia
Her web page: https://www.petfinder.com/dog/gemma-52584276/ga/perry/australian-shepherds-furever-ca2261/
Old dogs, and flea combings, and walking in the sun
Make memories to cherish of the days when you were young.
Gemma's had a long, long life for a dog of her size,
But she still likes a walk with things that please her nose and eyes.
She takes her medicine each day and needs watching when asleep
As sometimes old dogs form puddles that beneath their blankets seep.
She shows respect to other dogs if they're bigger, stronger, faster.
She expects no less from smaller dogs; she'll let them know who's master.
People think they want an Australian Shepherd 'cos they look so fine,
But they can look like different dogs when defending "me" and "mine."
You have to have a firm hand, also kindness, love, respect,
And these dogs can be a challenge that humans did not expect.
And Gemma is now very old, set firmly in her ways,
But she still has both love and joy to add for several days.
Let's just say that if she bonds with someone in grade eight or nine,
When her human goes to college, she will not be left behind.
If you've known and loved such dogs before, this is the one you need.
Is she not among the prettiest of a pretty-looking breed?
Gemma is now living in a place that's known as Perry.
Drive out there to meet a dog who'll make days bright and merry.
(Hat tip: I don't have the complete text of a lyrical poem that began with the line "Old dogs, and daffodils and flowers in the sun...all of this when I was young" and ended with "I'll always remember old dogs and daffodils whenever I sing this song." It appeared in Event magazine when I was in that magazine's target age group and Phyllis Reynolds Naylor was the editor...I don't remember which week, or which year. My mother got into my Event stack while I was at college, claimed she found mold, and used the magazines to light fires. I remember the song because I was always close to finding the right tune for it, but never quite satisfied with the tune.)
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