Time for a Cat Sanctuary animal interview...
Serena: "Kibble! Bring out that fresh kibble!"
PK: "I'm asleep! Finally!"
Serena: "What do we want? Kibble! When do we want it? Now!"
PK: "Zzzz."
Serena: "All right, girls, stand back while I knock down the carrying case, stand it next to the door, and pick the latch with my claws! Now charge in and we'll GET THAT SACK OF KIBBLE!"
PK: "Good lord, is this a nightmare or what? I've heard of cat burglars but this is not what people using that expression usually have in mind. Out! Out!"
Serena: "We want that fresh kibble."
PK: "You just had the Food Lion store brand beans. You're not that hungry."
Serena: "Oh yes we are! Those beans were full of coliform bacteria and probably worse things. We don't like beans anyway. We gave them to the possum."
PK: "Well you don't get kibble by picking door latches with your claws, even if it was incredibly clever. I've known other cats who could work doorknobs with their paws, but you're the first who's worked out how to stand on top of an object and pick a latch. At least those beans ought to be good for the 'double your money back guarantee' for which I bought them! Which...ought to be good for...one can of Bush's beans."
Serena: "It's a fresh bag of kibble you brought in last night. I want that kibble while it's fresh. I could eat the whole bag. Well, not really, but I feel that way. It smells so fresh. I like fresh."
PK: "What did you observe about the way that kibble arrived?"
Serena: "Well...you went out to talk to some other humans we don't know. You went somewhere with them, and came back with the sack of kibble. A young man helped lift it out of the car for you."
PK: "Right. Any ideas about why those humans were so helpful?"
Serena: "None."
PK: "They have kittens. The idea was to bring those kittens here to share that fresh kibble with you, the way Traveller came with a big bag of cat treats and cat toys."
Serena: "So where are their kittens?"
PK: "They had just fed their kittens when I met them yesterday. So that was no good. So they might bring them out for dinner today. But it's cold and wet, and the kittens are used to being indoors."
Serena: "What sort of kittens?"
PK: "One male, gray and white, and three female, calico."
Serena: "Don't you think that three three-colored cats are enough?"
PK: "Apparently not, since life seems to be sending us three more. Maybe if there are six of you together you can attract some money, as three-colored cats are supposed to do."
Serena: "How old are these kittens?"
PK: "A little younger than Crayola and Pastel. Not a lot. Definitely eating solid food."
Serena: "So they're not going to be inside our doors are they? Is there any real hurry to move them?"
PK: "Depends which one you ask. The older generation of the family wanted those kittens outdoors in October. The younger people sound as if they wouldn't mind keeping them indoors forever."
Pastel: "Sometimes the younger generation have the best ideas!"
Serena: "No such! We older folk have to stand together."
PK: "Considering who actually cleans that house, yes, even though I'm not accustomed to being part of the oldest generation at this house and don't like it at all, we must stand together. So now I've been up all night with collywobbles from the coliform bacteria, I'm feeling very clean and empty and likely to faint, and the winter-solstice thaw is finally ending with rain that will give way to more cold weather, and some time--if not today, then soon--we are going to have some new kittens. These new kittens have been living on fresh warm milk and what humans call salvaged food, which is somewhere between what youall know as treats and those wretched Food Lion beans we had last night."
Serena: "That's about enough sprezz out of you! We've seen you much sicker than you were last night."
PK: "So you have, and so you probably will again. Still, it was not exactly fun. Let's keep the fresh kibble covered until those people get in from work and either feed their kittens again, or bring them up here, as they see fit."
Serena: "You're just being mean because you feel grumpy, and you deserve it, because you should have known those beans were strictly for possums. I want fresh. I want some more of that fresh kibble now."
PK: "Just a few more hours..."
Serena: "I remember how to pick the latch."
PK: "I remember how to put bars on doors, too. And also deadbolts. No rewards for criminal behavior around here...even if it was worthy of one of Elizabeth Barrette's "cats with super-powers" speculative fiction stories, which are funny and heartwarming and a way for a good writer to work through bereavement, and which sponsors should definitely consider funding after they've funded us. We need some funding, sponsors. Between head colds and the Big Freeze I know the heating bill that'll be in this week's mail is going to be huge, by Cat Sanctuary standards, possibly resembling the heating bills people in town get. My best client for regular real-world odd jobs has a lot of medical bills to pay. My best retail distributor has a sick family member to sit with in the hospital. So many other people are out of work or ill or both, this winter, that even the $1,974 I earned in the year 2022 is still an income and people are still asking me for help with money. What most of those people really need are the lessons my book on living on Two Thousand or Less will teach them, but the immediate fact is that they are still hungry and they may soon be cold. Much as I'd love just to dash off a few e-books for quick cash, Amazon is filling up with ghostwritten e-books. I'll be doing a gorgeous calendar this evening, with butterfly pictures, but most people already have their calendars for this year."
Serena: "If you're trying to get humans to send us money, those don't sound like very good reasons why they should."
PK: "I know that. Why don't you use your super-powers to think of a better one? Here's what I've come up with, Gentle Readers: inspiring, partly-blank books for you to write. I'll be working with a local printer to provide pretty backgrounds for your words, and you can create your own cookbooks, poem or story collections, family histories, or just scrapbooks for distribution to your own Net-free friends and relatives. We'll do a small book with Christian quotes and a larger book with funny quotes first, and if those sell we may try others. These will be 'day books,' but since 365 pages makes a bulky book, they won't be for a full year so there's no need for them to start in the first week of January."
Serena: "Are you going to be using more butterfly pictures? Because butterflies are nasty."
PK: "Humans know better than to eat them, so most of us think they are nice--to look at. But no, I think the calendar will give me enough butterflies to think about today. I still feel as if those beans had hatched out into live butterflies. Great big tropical ones. Flapping."
Serena: "You poor old dear. Purr. Cuddle. May I have some fresh kibble now, please?"
PK: "Just as soon as I throw in a few Petfinder links. Cats, today...and we've had too many calico cats lately. Let's do tabby cat pictures."
Serena: "Oh meow. I'm going. I'm going."
Zipcode 10101: Bruno & Arlo from New York
What an easy pick! These brothers, and their story, reminded me of Bounce and Pounce, two kittens who provided a ton of fun at the Cat Sanctuary one winter in the past. As long as they're innocent little boys they'll play together, snuggle together, and amuse their humans. If allowed to reach sexual maturity they'll go their separate ways--being friends, showing due respect for each other, chasing their own food and female companionship in different directions. So, early neutering should make these two a great pair of pets. This web site recommends caution about the foster care situation--be reasonable, by all means, understanding that "reasonable" means you NEVER disclose any real individual's real name, home address, live phone number, etc., online or by mail, and you NEVER pay money before receiving what you're paying for. It should be possible to meet the kittens in a public place. The adoption fee advertised does cover two cats' veterinary expenses, but if there are any further questions about your home you should expect it to be slashed if not waived for "a good home"! Their web page is https://www.petfinder.com/cat/bruno-arlo-59056822/ny/new-york/cat-castle-nyc-ny1467/ .
Zipcode 20202: Fibber & Molly from Rockville
Yes, Rockville. The cats can't help it. There's a less successful picture of them as a pair at their web site, https://www.petfinder.com/cat/molly-fibber-58860807/md/rockville/hedgesville-hounds-md149/, with more information about their situation. The cats are not necessarily either in or from Rockville and they might even be willing to support this web site's "Save the Butterflies" campaign. They are sisters, already spayed.
Zipcode 30303: Perry & Prince from Atlanta
I thought seriously about featuring Penny, Lilith, and Vera again, because they are social sisters just looking for someone who's up for a fantastic once-in-a-lifetime social cat family experience similar to what this web site has recorded my sharing with the Patchnose Family. However, whether Lilith is photogenic or ugly is sort of in the eye of the beholder, and these more normal male cats need a loving home too. These buddies were already neutered and already tame when they started sheltering under someone's deck and were brought inside from the Big Freeze. They need a better foster home. If willing to foster them first you might even get some cat food from the rescuing organization. This web site puts you on your honor, if you foster them and like them and don't want to give them up, to fill out the official adoption papers and not just keep claiming free kibble from https://www.petfinder.com/cat/perry-desperate-for-foster-home-58612768/ga/atlanta/a-welcome-home-animal-rescue-ga662/ .
Bonus: Sabor, Clay, and Ringo from Kingsport
Sometimes mother cats will send ten-week-old kittens out on their own so the mother cats can have a new litter, in summer. In winter? Not so much. Somebody dumped these little fellows at the Kingsport city shelter, which is not affiliated with Petfinder and does not guarantee "no kill." At this age they're just learning to eat solid food and my guess would be that they started leaving tiny dry kitten-messes on the floor, looking up at (someone they believed was their) human with wide-eed wonderment, and purring "LOOK what I did! All by myself!" This is a stage kittens outgrow, Gentle Readers, though male kittens may not outgrow it as successfully as females do. Serena, who was an office kitten before she grew up to be a Queen Cat, took two days to go through that stage. Pay for a quick neutering job now and they should be fine.
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