What was the first Dolly Parton song you remember? For me it was "Coat of Many Colors," and "Love Is Like a Butterfly," nice family-friendly songs a child could sing, and I did. For some it was "I Will Always Love You," the farewell song she wrote for a former business partner who had cheated her out of money; she sincerely seemed to feel sorry for him and later went out of her way to be generous to him, and no, she was not talking about the kind of love her husband or his wife might have objected to. In real life, if not on stage, Dolly Parton was a Real Southern Lady. The costumes and performances were what agents thought they wanted, only she took them that one step further that made many people love her act as something funny. For many in that crowd her greatest hit was "Jolene."
It is possible that somebody, somewhere does not already know "Jolene" by heart, so here's the video where she admits the reality was slightly different than the song, which was written to appeal to all the women who think their husbands' "honeys" are prettier than they are.
(Actually this performance was recorded in 1988 and "Jolene" was a hit song of 1973, but maybe the marriage problem occurred "twenty years ago.")
There must be a hundred or a thousand parodies, or reprises, or replies. I've yet to hear anyone sing the thought my mother expressed after listening to "Jolene": "If he wants another woman, let him have her. Put his things in a U-Haul and park it outside her house."
But here's Sunra Rainz' poem from Jolene's own point of view...
...and here's a silly anti-drug parody I wrote and sang some time ago...
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I'm beggin' of you, please, don't take my man.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, please don't take him even though you can.
Your beauty is beyond repair, with tattered locks of ivory hair
And withered skin and teeth of yellow-green.
Your eyes are like November rain. Your voice is like a dog in pain,
Yet I cannot compete with you, Jolene,
For I'm a pill-head, don't you know, and he'd have left me long ago
If he did not believe that would be mean.
I'm helpless, useless, as can be, just lie around and watch TV.
He'd rather not come home to me, Jolene.
I thought I could retain control when I fell down the rabbit hole,
But I'm a wreck by now; that's clearly seen,
And any woman he can get will keep him out all night, and yet
He's too kind to file for divorce, Jolene.
He called your name out in his sleep, and there's nothing I can do to keep
From cryin' when he called your name, Jolene.
I'm on my knees now beggin' you 'cos there's nothing more than I can do,
'Cos I'm a useless, strung-out scag, Jolene.
Actually this song came to embarrass me. It trivializes the plight of families where one of the adults is an addict. I realized this when an acquaintance went to collect children his ex was supposed to have delivered to him for the weekend, and found the baby in its cot, the ex passed out on the couch, the children afraid to move the baby although the house was on fire. Clearly, this is not a topic to sing about.
So here's another reprise for the woman of sense and self-respect:
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I caught you! Now you're stuck with my old man!
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, hope marrying a cheater was your plan!
The only way I'll be a wife is just one man for all my life.
I picked the wrong man, as we all have seen.
Made a mistake and kissed a snake, but some things I don't have to take,
Such as a man out of your hands, Jolene.
Whatever kids and I may lack, I am not going to take him back.
Around the house he's one more mess to clean.
Brought in some money, that is true, but on the whole I think I'll do
A little better with him gone, Jolene.
In five more years he'll have no hair, while you will still be young and fair,
And folks will smile wherever you are seen.
They're planning to phase out his job, so you'll just have a big old slob
To clutter up your home decor, Jolene.
You don't look like you have to poach, so maybe you need a life coach,
Or something like that? I don't know, Jolene.
I really, honestly don't care. I only think that it is fair
That you're stuck with him from now on, Jolene.
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