Title: The Spicy Cookbook
Author: anonymous
Date: 1982
Publisher: Rand McNally
ISBN: none
Length: 32 pages
Quote: “Onion breath. Garlic breath. Listerine helps get rid
of them.”
With that in mind, Listerine sponsored the publication of
this mini-cookbook, featuring pepper, caraway, chili powder, chutney, cloves,
curry, garlic, ginger, horseradish, jalapenos, mustard, onions, hot sauce, and
Worcestershire sauce. Each “chapter,” or two-page spread, offers two complete
recipes featuring the flavor and some additional serving suggestions.
The complete recipes would certainly be spicy. And sour. Many
call for mayonnaise, sour cream, vinegar, lemon juice, and cheese; the
“overnight salad” in the pepper section suggests all five.
Let's just say that this is not a cookbook for those trying
to interest young children in vegetables. Most people under age ten can learn
to like lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, bell peppers, corn, beans, celery, snow
peas, parsley, zucchini, avocado, and cucumber, all by themselves, raw or lightly steamed, with maybe a sprinkle of salt. Some like olives; some
like onions; some like radishes. The mere fact that most children don't like
lemons, limes, or horseradish has been known to motivate children to eat them,
as at that school, in Little Women, where sucking limes became a fad.
But I can't imagine a child appreciating lettuce, tomatoes, and carrots that
have been lying all night in a mix of mayonnaise, sour cream, vinegar, lemon,
cheese, and black pepper.
For adults, regular internal use of alcohol, even if all you
do with it is rinse and spit, has some minor health risks. Original-formula
Listerine, with its combination of medicinal herb oils and alcohol, is a
valuable, safe antibiotic if it's not overused to breed strains of resistant
germs. Nicer-tasting mouthwashes are less effective on disease germs but not
much less harmful to natural, friendly microbes. Natural antibodies and enzymes
in the mouth are sufficient to immunize most of us to many of the inevitable
microbes that invade us, but if we use alcohol-based mouthwash after every
meal, we destroy some of our natural defenses.
So you wouldn't want to use these recipes every day. For most
people I imagine that wouldn't be much of a problem. This is a collection of
recipes for “something different,” not for staples (the authors assume you
already have recipes for chili beans and ginger cookies). Pepper steak, clove
cookies, and tamale pie made easy by using corn chips, are things most people
like but not things most of us want every day. Some of the other recipes, like
jalapeno jelly and ham-peanut-and-chutney “salad,” are definitely novelty
items. For people my age I suspect they fit right into that slot, along with
Twister and “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” of “Party Items That Encourage Parents to Fade Out Fast.”
So, who needs this cookbook? People who like spices,
novelties, and nostalgia, and who are able to keep a good healthy distance
between themselves and others who may not share their taste for spices.
If you don't stand closer to people than you need to be to
shake hands, garlic breath is not a problem. If you habitually encroach on the
personal space of people who are not “in love” with you (yes, that includes
children), garlic is the least of your worries—the fact that you're forcing
people to notice your breath is the problem. Air that has just been breathed,
that hasn't mixed back into the surrounding air and reoxygenated itself, is very
nasty even if it carries a “minty fresh” odor. If you are unfortunate enough to have to
continue to associate with people who habitually get close enough to smell your
breath, you need this cookbook...you might also like to try running a
thread through a garlic clove (puncturing the garlic releases its aroma) and
hanging it around your neck. If you are the one who's formed the habit of
standing too close, you also can profit from this cookbook; eat these foods, do
not use Listerine, and let the awareness that your last meal left a smell on
your breath remind you not to get closer than handshaking distance.
(Say what? Step back where your garlic breath won't distract
me, I'm missing the words. Cultural Thing, you say? Well, all cultural customs
are not equally valuable. Cultures in which people normally stand within
breath-smelling range, during conversations, are cultures in which people have
shorter life expectancies than people the same age who normally stay at or past
handshaking distance.)
Although it's a small, cheap cookbook this one was designed to be collectible, and prices are heading in that direction. Currently this web site can still offer copies for $5 per book, $5 per package, plus $1 per online payment. Probably a dozen copies or more would fit into one package, but don't ask; that would be likely to inflate the price. This web site recommends that you browse around for Fair Trade Books to tuck into the package.
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