Tampering with Santa's Letters: Short Fiction Exercise

Now for the second promised Planned Post, here's a short story...

This dystopian short story was prompted by a Washington Post Style Invitational challenge. I never technically enter the Style Invitational; they collect real-world contact information (admittedly for the benign purpose of blitzing you with prompts to subscribe to the daily paper, which, thanks to modern electronic technology, is available on the same day, in rather messy e-mail form, hundreds or thousands of mile from Washington. I get enough of those in the e-mail already, thanks). I do follow their prompts and contest results, though, which tend to be coffee-snorting hilarious. Here's the link to the words Post readers invented by playing with the letters S, A, N, and T:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/style-invitational-week-1259-beat-the-banned-with-euphemisms/2017/12/20/9e37f7c0-e47b-11e7-833f-155031558ff4_story.html?

I kept thinking of words that formed a short story in glossary form. This is as far as the story went, during one meal break I allotted to thinking of words containing the letters in "Santa." If you like writing dystopian novels and see one here, feel free to use this story as a prompt; for me it's gone far enough.

Bansters: People who want to ban a lot of things that other people do.

Banstaff: Enforcers of a ban.

Banstave: Heavy stick, officially designed for ceremonial rapping on the floor by the banstaff when a ban is proclaimed.

Banstable: Roving member of a banstaff, who carries a banstave.

Beanstave: One unofficial but popular application of a banstave; pantstave: another.

Banstrum: Mood swing invoked by members of banstaff to account for beanstaving and pantstaving.

Banstress: Chronic mood produced by arbitrary bans in individuals other than a banstaff.

Planster: Advocate of rigorous family planning, enforced by bans on keeping two children in one household, by having children while employed in certain jobs or enrolled in certain schools, etc.

Chanster: One who does not participate in family planning, even as required by bans.

Granster: Supportive parent of a chanster, typically the only person who ever encourages anyone to have or keep a second child. Not to be confused with a...

Grantster: Person who double-checks that recipients of grants are in compliance with associated bans, e.g. that graduate students don’t have children.

Loanster: Person who makes a living by lending people money to help them pay fines imposed on them for violating a ban.

Vanster: One who helps people keep large vehicles, which are no longer manufactured or factory-supported, roadworthy.

Manstoblame: Principle invoked by banstaff in persecuting the fathers of banned children, on the grounds that a man cannot be forced to become a father and must take responsibility for allowing himself to be tricked 

into being one.

Bants: Diets and exercises for weight loss, as did Anastasia Santos after giving birth to a second child.

Chants: Vocalizes aloud, with or without melody or rhythm, as it might be to mask the sound of a banned child’s whimpering, as did Stanley Santos after the birth of a second child.

Rants: What both Stanley and Anastasia did in the hope of distracting the banstaff, before he was beanstaved and she was pantstaved.

Pants: What you’d like to believe this story is a load of, but it is not without historical precedents. See Exodus 1.

Nasty: What people suffering from banstress call bansters; what bansters, deep down, believe all other people are.

Nastynarker: Banstable who checks garbage containers for evidence of banned activities, e.g. baby supplies.

Nastyniche: Compartment in a modern composting toilet in which evidence of banned activities can be quickly carbonized. As banning activity increased, so did the popularity of toilets with this new feature, not part of traditional composting toilets from the late twentieth and early twenty-first century.

Nastygnats: Short-lived insects whose frozen eggs are sold by the ounce to people whose evidence of banned activities, e.g. baby supplies, overflows the nastyniche. Things speed-composted by nastygnats are too hard to recognize to be collected as evidence; however, the presence of nastygnats attracts nastynarkers.

Nats: Team Stanley and Anastasia thought would win the World Series before their nastyniche and nastygnats were detected. They won the Series in 2048.

Natster: Nickname given to Ignatsy Urkel, who tried, unsuccessfully, to get a ban enforced against jokes about the Nats winning the World Series.

Santa Yocheved: Patron saint of graduate students concealing banned babies.

Pediatrisanto/a: Pediatrician who works with chansters, for cash or barter.

Satnite: When nastynarker Ignatsy Urkel traced the Santos to their home, and snapped a picture of Anastasia playing with both baby Tansy and eleven-year-old Constantia, after seeing proof that Dr. Istsan was a pediatrisanta on Frimorn...

Fant'sy: What this story has been...with the intentions of helping you keep it that way. 

(The serious thinking behind this thought is that although left-wing control freaks have tended to be the shrillest, doomiest, gloomiest voices warning us all about overpopulation, overpopulation is real; the reason why predictions like this one haven't come true is that people have become more mindful, and birth rates have dropped. Unfortunately, a declining birth rate means that schemes like our Social Security system can't continue to be as generous as they once were--which shouldn't be news. I don't actually have to explain this, even to Republican correspondents whose posts show willful efforts to deny it. Things like high levels of unemployed or underemployed people, failure to pay contractual obligations to older disabled veterans, large numbers of people trying to bring up children in apartment blocks, etc., indicate that our current population level is a peak figure that needs to drop.)