Gifts for People Who Are Hard to Shop For

HAH! Did people think I wasn't going to squeeze this post in? Here is the final post for the Long and Short Reviews blog challenge: Gifts for People Who Are Hard to Shop For. 

First of all, the other participants in this link-up have some very nice ideas, for those of you whose friends do want to receive presents but are just hard to shop for. "It's the thought that counts" and their homes are stuffed with stuff, so, maybe the gift of time or tutoring? Maybe a reflection of your thought, like a poem? Maybe something you know the person will use, even if the person is a well-known tightwad who only ever buys things like groceries and underwear? Giftcards from the discount grocery and department stores those people favor can look jolly festive.

Now a thought for the people who are really just about impossible to please, because the bottom line is that we don't get into the whole Christmas present thing at all. Well, maybe if we're in desperate financial straits Christmas can be an excuse to slip us a $20 or $100 bill, but it still feels sort of icky that we don't have one for you. 

Of course, for those of us who make things, you can always slip us the same amount of money and clean the ickiness off it by ordering something. For instance, you can send this web site payment for a blog post. Since the post will appear after Christmas there's no theological controversy about it, and since you're buying something there's no stench of toxic "charity" about the fact that I can't afford to spend money on you and will have to write something for you instead.

 

For other people who are hard to shop for, a nice thought is Lydia Schoch's suggestion to shop with them and ask them what they'd like to get. (But please resist the urge to "upgrade"...when people don't ask for the most expensive thing, there may be a reason for it. Do not try to substitute heavy leather shoes for the flimsy-looking canvas ones that don't blister someone's odd-shaped feet. Do not buy the larger size that won't fit into the space where the small size could just be squeezed into someone's small apartment.)

Then there are the people who genuinely hate "gift items" like ornaments (they don't decorate), handkerchiefs (they use tissues), neckties (they're retired), or scented soap (they're allergic to most of it and, in any case, have a box full from previous holidays). If you happen to hit on something they will actually use, they'll be pleased. 

Then there's a phenomenon every knitter knows well: There are people who don't stop with the hints about what we might knit next. They like sweaters, for themselves, which is nice, and for their children, which is not so nice, as children are more active and form a prejudice against sweaters that adults literally force upon them. "But it looks adorable! Aren't you going to say 'thank you' now," coos the adult. 

"Nooo!" screams the tot. "No fwedder! I haaaate fwedders! I'm burnin' up aweady!" 

And then there are the people who had that experience as children. A lot of them happen to be single young men. Here you learned to knit just so you could knit the perfect sweater to hang on those perfect manly shoulders. And he did thank you, even if it didn't come out quite the way you hoped it would, when finished. And then the whole relationship just sort of...

I knitted sweaters for single men. Some of them modelled those sweaters with pride. (A trick used to be to start them out at Stitches Fair, where modelling sweaters used to give the male minority the rock star experience of having women swarm up around them and fondle their sleeves.) One of them even married me. What is the secret? Part of it is to remember that US guy culture demands that men wear boring, uniform-type clothes that fit just right. Another part is to practice on your elders first and, although you can always give friends sweaters "in exchange for modelling," make sure your friends have seen your sweaters in shop windows, with alarming price tags on them. 

The third part, most important of all, is to remember that a lot of active young people just plain hate sweaters. Even on Ugly Holiday Sweater Day. Even if they own a fantastically faded, formerly beaded sweater dripping with unravelling embroidery, and have a good chance of winning the office Ugly Sweater Contest prize--the minute they've posed in it, off it goes. If this is going to change, it will be when they have to take blood pressure medication, which as a good friend you hope never happens. Don't bother trying to sell sweaters to anti-sweater people. If you must knit for them, knit holiday-color-theme drink coasters.

Finally, about the people who have grudgingly accepted Christmas carols or red and green sweaters as part of a useful "season of giving" but still don't think it's Christian to mix the birth of Christ up with the winter solstice...A really nice gift for those people is to accept that they really mean it. You can always exchange birthday presents, or celebrate the anniversary of the season when you met.