This week's Long & Short Reviews prompt asks what reviewers do when we're bored. We've had this question before so, to prevent boredom, this time I'll do a Top Ten List of Ways to End Boredom:
1. Knit. There are other small portable handcrafts that some people prefer. I knit.
2. Read a book. Reread a book that was worth reading twice, by which I usually mean a funny book, sometimes a serious informative book, or maybe one of those big coffee-table-type knitting pattern books full of eye candy.
3. Give myself a manicure/pedicure. Though an unusually imaginate hostile commenter thought I sounded like a person who has nice fingernails, I actually have to reach a high level of boredom to do anything about them beyond just washing.
4. If bored while waiting for a date, cut my hair. I last did this in 2008 but it was fun...getting the hair out of my eyes, and lookng at the shock on his face when he did show up.
5. If bored while waiting in the hospital, say a silent prayer for every person there, including the staff. Hospital cleaning staff have one of the worst jobs on Earth.
6. If bored while working an open-air market, compose a song. Singing out loud is a good way to reduce the boredom in a market. People were thinking their own thoughts, not paying to sit through a concert, so they're likely to buy things to make you stop.
7. If bored while in the company of boring people, silently imagine them all participating in an orgy, with particular attention to the physical defects likely to be revealed when they take off their clothes. (You don't want this to be an exciting fantasy.) If the meeting goes on long enough, invent the fight that breaks out when they get drunk enough to spill their secrets.
8. Make a top ten list. Make another. People have paid for whole books filled with nothing but top ten lists. Maybe an all new book of lists will sell on Amazon.
9. Rearrange all the songs that come to your mind for performance in a different genre. People have paid for albums of things like classic rock songs played on the harp, or Bach chorales performed by rock bands, too.
10. Do seated exercises. Try to think of enough different ones that the period of boredom ends before the eye exercises.
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