Celebration of Laughable Legislation

In preparation for April Fools Day, this web site celebrates some laws that have actually been enacted in Virginia and Tennessee. 

Fair disclosure: These were selected a few years ago by a newspaper editor, who shall be nameless, whose obvious purpose in writing his article was to object to a relatively reasonable law against posting images online that "are likely to frighten, intimidate, or cause emotional distress." He just wanted not to go to jail for printing photos of Candidates Trump and Harris during the last presidential election. 

Anyway, here's our refined selection of his selection. Each of these things has actually been in the law in some part of Virginia or Tennessee. It's not necessarily in the law now. I just wanted to share the giggles as I tried to imagine how these laws might ever have been written, much less how they could be enforced.

1. It is a crime to sell a hollow log. If someone wants a hollow log, you must make it a gift.

2. It is a crime to shoot any game from a moving vehicle--other than whales. It is legal to shoot whales from a moving vehicle in Tennessee. It is probably not a viable plan to take an obese person who has no reason to live into Tennessee, shoot him, and claim that you thought he was a whale.

3. If eight or fewer women are living, or renting bedrooms, in one house, it is still necessary to prove that they're using the place for the purpose of bringing in men and having sex with them for money. If nine or more women are living in one house, that alone may be considered proof that they're using it for that purpose. While this law presumably was written with an implicit understanding that no school, sorority house, or prison would be prosecuted...

4. It is a crime to catch fish with a lasso. However, it's not a crime to waste a day trying.

5. It is a crime to share your own Netflix password...not someone else's.  

6. It is a crime for a woman to call a man and ask for a date. Fellows? Stop waiting. If you want a date, pick up the phone.

7. It's illegal to flip a coin to decide who pays for coffee. This must be decided before entering the cafe. If you can't keep track of who paid the last time, you must draw straws.

8. Every business is required by law to have a hitching post for horses. 

9. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket. The law says nothing about whole pints. There are days in Tennessee when shoplifters would be positively motivated to stuff whole pints into their pants pockets, so if they have a problem with illegal transportation of ice cream, this should probably be addressed.

10. It is illegal to tickle a woman, but legal to tickle a man. 

Let's end this with a consideration of a law that makes sense to me, if it didn't make sense to the newspaperman. It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle while asleep. If your eyelids start to feel heavy, park the car. 

Drive carefully, and while fully awake, Gentle Readers.