Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The Perfect Online Match, LOL

(Reclaimed from Bubblews, where this "Bubble" appeared on 1.13.14. Nothing has changed,)

Who could resist the suggestion from Lyoness913 to share the list of criteria for our ideal online future mate, even if we already have one... 

(Hers are at

I have, of course, thought about my list from time to time, and every time I've come up with a slightly different Top Ten List. This list reflects the influence of having just read Lyoness's:

1. No drugs, including marijuana, tobacco, alcohol, prescription antidepressants, prescription painkillers, or any new prescription medication of any kind. (I've seen a few mild cases of "Prozac Dementia" and don't ever want to be around a bad case.)

2. Must like cats, and my cats must like him.

3. No human beings amongst his "baggage." If a parent, long-divorced first wife even after both lived with other people, problem child, or problem foster child has a prior claim on him, he must take care of that obligation before he gets to move in with me.

4. Nobody born later than the early 1960s (in real life I'd specify a day). Too many guys have used the "poor, sick, older wife" line, even of a wife who was just one week older than they...I want nothing to do with younger men.

5. Obviously, no contagious diseases.

6. OK to enjoy watching sports during unavoidable down time (when ill, visiting friends, etc.) or if a member of the immediate family is playing, but I like men who prefer actually doing sports. Hiking, cycling, rowing, tennis, basketball, cricket, even shuffleboard...anything where he's a player not a spectator.

7. And it's a plus if he prefers doing useful work to playing sports, too.

8. Must be intelligent. Does not need to have ever taken a college course, but does need to be comfortable around people who earned high grades at big-name colleges--I did. Nor do any number of degrees make up for it if someone chooses stupidity by refusing to learn new things...and that kind of person won't like me anyway.

9. Must have enough money to support me in the style to which he's accustomed. I doubt that anybody else wants to live in the style to which I've become accustomed as a widow, and for sure I can't afford to support anyone whose lifestyle is more expensive than mine...and this is probably the deal breaker for 99% of the eligible men in America.

10. Must have demonstrated the ability to maintain his own home, but not be too attached to it to move into mine. (It needs work. That's why God gave men all that wonderful upper body strength. He should enjoy doing at least some of that work.)

Before you say "There is no such man"...I've found him, actually, and before realizing I'd found him I even thought he looked good. When tired of waiting for certain problems to be resolved I've talked to other available men, and fear it not, just talking to them has been enough.