"Small talk" is a kind of low-content chatter that introverts usually do for a few minutes before saying something more obviously useful, and that extroverts seem to enjoy doing all day long. Examples:
"Hello. How are you?"
"Fine, thanks. How are you?"
"Fine, thanks. Nice day, isn't it?"
"Beautiful! I hear it's going to rain again tomorrow."
Between introverts the amount of time spent on this kind of natter is an index of the discomfort people feel with what they really want to say. In a friendly, comfortable conversation the next line might be,
"Very likely. Anyway, I just came to bring back the wrench I borrowed, and to ask if you'd be interested in going to the lake with us this weekend."
But it might take a long time to work up to,
"...And oh, didn't it pour on this day in 1977! And by the way, I just happened to see what you and Tracy were doing yesterday."
So we see that, while it may seem like a waste of time, "small talk" serves a purpose. In fact, when people launch right into what they want to say without using at least one "conversation turn" to establish the level of attention they want to give the conversation, the important message may fall on inattentive ears. Within the family, the "small talk" that asks for and ensures attention may seem more directly related to its purpose--"I've heard news" or "Is this a good time to talk?" In more formal contexts, the "small talk" may smooth over the fact that it's not a good time to talk about anything private or momentous.
Or, in some cases, the "small talk" may be more momentous for those doing it than a transcript of the words would suggest. Most of us remember adolescent social encounters where "small talk" was used to communicate large messages.
Spoken message: "Hi."
Unspoken content: "You are the most attractive person on Earth."
Spoken message: "Hey."
Unspoken content: "Is it possible? Finally? You're talking to me? I've only had a crush on you since..."
I've always been fascinated by the conversations where I'm not sure how the spoken and unspoken messages could possibly connect, but in fact they did.
A's spoken message: "I had to miss English class yesterday."
Unspoken content: "But I heard what you said about me, you parent-abusing liar."
B's spoken message: "Oh well, you didn't miss much."
Unspoken content: "I said I could beat the stuffing out of you. Why don't you take off your glasses and I'll start doing that now."
C's unspoken message: "I saw Tracy Jones today."
What A might say, but doesn't: "You see Jones every day, don't you, riding the same bus?"
What B might say, but doesn't: "So what? I don't like Jones. I don't like you. I have a sophomore to beat up. Go away."
Unspoken content, nevertheless: ???
-- "I'm watching. If you start fighting I'll have to fight one of you next."
-- "I happen to know that one of you is waiting for a reply from Jones's parents, which, for some reason, Jones chose to let me deliver."
-- "Both of you dislike me more than you dislike each other so let me distract you from fighting before the teacher comes around the corner."
-- "Jones and I happen to know something that would embarrass one or both of you if mentioned."
-- "You'd better make peace if you want to spend the long weekend at Jones's family's beach house."
Or what? ?????
"Small talk" can become very interesting, at least to me, when it accomplishes something beyond attracting attention and I wonder how that could possibly have worked
Unfortunately "small talk" is most often noticed when it only takes up time and space. There's something you'd like to say, or hear, or do, and the other person won't stop babbling. Because the content of the babble is so low, it's entirely possible that this person doesn't want to be talking to you, any more than you want to be talking to them, but person just doesn't want to be seen sitting or standing still and not talking. Talk is expected so the mouth keeps flapping just to reduce other people's anxiety.
I'm an introvert so I like to minimize small talk. I like to make sure it's leading into something that really needed to be said, preferably quickly. Neither the Bible nor the Constitution includes any specific limit on the amount of words about the weather a person may ask others to listen to, but if you want my attention...
(a) When nothing really needs to be said, being quiet together is a bonding experience. Why miss a chance to look at beautiful landscapes or listen to a good song together, just to babble?
(b) When something does need to be said, say it before I start to notice feeling bored.
(c) If what you wanted to say feels hard to say, this may be an indicator that it's better not said. If, for example, it's something like "How can you be such a horrible person as not to want to sign over all national sovereignty and personal rights and personal property to our wonderful friends in Europe who promise us world peace," and you're thinking that I'm likely to cut you off short with "Europeans can't even stop fighting wars with each other," you're right. It would probably be better for our relationship if you say something less confrontational, something more emotionally honest, like "Dang, I wanted to believe world peace was possible, even if it's true that the people dreaming of global government wouldn't recognize peace if it walked up and bit them."
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