Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Bad Poetry: The View of the Tipping Point

This extra bit of Bad Poetry was prompted by the two simultaneous prompts at DVerse: https://dversepoets.com/2025/06/10/poetics-a-view-of-ones-own/ , in which Dora asked for poems that linked a view with a mood, and the ongoing call for submissions to the Krisis anthology at the top of the page. Reading other people's view/mood poems reminded me of a view that always reminded me of one long-ago summer of emotional crisis...


(image credit: Sally Garland)

That's not the view I was looking at; it's the closest color match Google pulled up.

The river flickers copper between green
I wrote. I wrote three poems that began
with that line, that year. Wasn't really keen
on any of them. Actually it had been
the branch creek, low banks bounded by cement
walls, mint and Queen Anne's Lace and sand
and damselflies like jewels in the sun.
How many sapphire blue, how many green
as emerald, how many black I'd seen
I tried to count, was always missing one.
Later I learned: the light's what did the trick.
As bodies turned in flight, the light would pick
out different colors. But they can look teal
or turquoise, some of that kind; none of ours.
Ours were true blue, true green, true black, no real
compromise among the extremes allowed.
I leaned on the rail and watched them bend the flowers
and walked up to my job, the only job
I'd ever wanted. Oh but I was proud
to be reshelving books, not going to school
although I missed school, too. I didn't feel
school friends were real friends; I just liked the crowd
that showed adults I'd learned some "social skills,"
whatever those were good for. If a mob
was what it took to get the perfect job
I'd run in one. Run one. Most kids were cool
and friendly, thinking of jobs, in high school.
"Nobody's getting paid to work this year,"
they said. "The budget cuts. But volunteer
work counts, for college purposes. You must
go on to college, now. With those test scores
it'd be a waste, a sin, a shame, a crime
not to go." For all three of my high school years
it had been "Go to Radford and then teach"
from teachers I ignored; from time to time
the preachers in the family would preach
"All young good-looking women should stay in
their homes as much as possible, and not
work where young men work, if they work at all,
for charity, and not occasion sin."
The library was the next most female zone
after the beauty shops I'd never been
inside. I went inside--the cool! the quiet!--
reached for the cart of books; a word; the plot
congealed: "We can't let you work any more.
Your parents and the boss locked horns last fall."
Now I'd nothing to go to college for
but "Everyone does something, or they'll rot."
I went. And it was all "You have to choose.
Where do you want to be in four more years?"
and all my mind's eye saw was that same scene:
the water flickered copper between green.

8 comments:

  1. I love this! So full of life, activity and feeling, shared so vividly I might have been there with you. I like the intricate rhyming too, and the exquisite line that begins and ends the poem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes...very quiet activity! Thank you for visiting.

      PK

      Delete
  2. Wow. What a heart-wrenching story told in this poem. I hope its narrator later found her own power and the water flickered copper between green.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. It was I, so this web site's been the sequel. I've not grown rich nor found a permanent physical location for the bookstore, but I do work with books, in my home town. The little stream and its bridge still look about the same.

      PK

      Delete
  3. Your delightful use of dragonflies for a metaphor against the backdrop of desire, "The river flickers copper between green" is so compelling. The lines, "Ours were true blue, true green, true black, no real/compromise among the extremes allowed," gives us a hint of the life choices coming, the flows which either sweep over us or which confront us, and all the while, the desire running beneath them all like a current. I found this poem deeply moving, especially as a testament to how light figuratively speaking shines to cloak or uncloak our deepest longings. Beautifully written, Priscilla.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a simple entomological fact: some Ebony Jewel Wing damselflies can iridesce teal or turquoise, but ours always looked either blue or green or black. I thought it worked as a metaphor and am glad you spotted it as one, Dora. (I like your Pilgrimdreams poems too.)

      Delete
  4. I love the circularity of your poem, Priscilla, the use of colour and amazing detail, the 'mint and Queen Anne's Lace and sand and damselflies like jewels in the sun’, and the shift from outside to inside, school and the library, to unravel a personal story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Kim. I like your poems too; have rarely tried to post a comment on Wordpress in recent years, but I've not stopped reading them.

      Delete