Friday, March 24, 2023

Shrimp or Crickets

Time for an animal interview in which, as usual, the animals' conversation is translated from their nonverbal communication...

PK: "What a lucky day, Serena! Some friends of the Cat Sanctuary sent you cats a big bag of frozen shrimp."

Serena: "What are those?"

PK: "Little animals that live in water."

Silver: "So why are they not in the water?"

PK: "Someone took them out and picked off their shells so you could eat them."

Serena: "What a nice thought. Er...you may have mine."

Crayola: "Is there any chicken left?"

Pastel: "People eat those things?"

PK: "Some humans do. Don't they smell fishious and delicious?"

Silver: "Those things aren't fish. They don't smell like fish."

Serena: "Fi-i-ish? Not coming down with another cold are you?"

PK: "Well, they're not really fish, but they live where fish do and eat what fish do. They smell like the ocean. 

Serena: "That may be. They do not smell like food."

PK: "Well, you can pick and choose if you want to. There's plenty of kibble. There's some garlic bread in the bag, as well. I suppose the possum will appreciate that."

Crayola: "I appreciate that! This piece is mine!"

Pastel: "I want some too!"

Serena: "Hey, me three!"

Silver: "Me four!"

Crayola: "I like garlic bread."

Serena: "Are you sure you don't want some? This is good garlic bread. Very oily and garlicky."

PK: "Much as I like garlic, I'd better not have the bread. I suppose the possum can have the shrimp then."

Serena: "Why not?"

PK: "Why not, indeed. Nobody loves a possum, the saying goes, but our possums certainly eat 'high on the hog.' Can you help me explain this to the Folks In Rio Linda? A shrimp is about the size of a large cricket. People keep some kinds of living shrimp in aquaria because they are cute--while living, anyway. They have pretty pastel-colored shells and walk about waving their little antennae almost like humans using sign language with their hands. Other than that they look a bit like crickets. You cats eat crickets. Some humans eat crickets. Some humans eat shrimp. Humans who will eat either one generally agree that crickets are a survival food, but shrimp are a special treat."

Serena: "I don't see you eating any!"

PK: "Well, no. Long ago a very wise man called Moses, the leader of the Hebrews, who had studied with the wisest men in Egypt and Ethiopia, told the Hebrews what to eat and how to eat it if they wanted to be immune to some diseases that were killing people in those countries. He gave them a long list of things to eat and avoid eating and ways to prepare them. In those days cooking was part of religious worship. People would build a fire and roast some sort of meat, and invite whatever God or spirits they worshipped to their barbecue. Different cults had different ideas about what God might like. Moses said that of animals that live in water, only the true fish, which have fins and scales, are good for humans to eat. From the way Moses instructed people how to cook different kinds of meat, I believe he had learned something about the way disease germs spread. The Hebrew people were a very poor, desperate little tribe but they stayed healthier than other tribes that were bigger and richer. I believe it's healthy for people to eat only what Moses told them to eat. So I never have eaten shrimp. But Moses said nothing about what cats and possums eat."

Silver: "If those shrimp things are such a treat for humans, why did Moses not want humans to eat them?"

PK: "Who knows? Maybe they were meant to be some other creatures' food and not ours. We know that some things Moses told the Hebrews not to eat were likely to contain worms or disease germs that made people weaker, more vulnerable to infections. Those animals might have carried the infections themselves. Moses told people not to eat or touch most insects. Four kinds of insects he said were fit to eat. King James' men called those insects "locusts, bald locusts, beetles, and grasshoppers," but Moses obviously wasn't talking about the insects we call those names in American English. He might have meant to include crickets. We don't know. Crickets are in the same general group of insects with locusts and grasshoppers. They weren't what ancient Israelites ate for a treat! For a special meal, such as a religious service, Hebrews liked to roast a lamb, a calf, or a goat kid. Sometimes poor people would roast birds. But eating locusts and grasshoppers wouldn't make people sick. Eating shrimp might have had that effect."

Serena: "Looking at them might. They look like a lot of glue trying to turn into grubs."

PK: "Yes...well, when my cat Black Magic and her kittens ate frozen shrimp and liked them, I think those shrimp had been cooked before they were frozen. I remember them looking a bit more solid. But they're not glue, and they're not grubs. I don't know that they're good food for cats, but they are their own kind of animal. It's quite all right to let the possum eat them, especially since you've eaten the garlic bread. It only surprises me that all four of you cats would prefer garlic bread to shrimp, especially when you eat crickets."

Pastel: "Crickets scamper about and behave like food, that's why. Whereas those things just lie on the ground and look like grubs and glue."

PK: "For humans it's sort of a fad to eat crickets these days. It's something our troops are taught to do in basic training, so maybe some people think that eating crickets makes you as tough as a soldier. That seems like a joke...they should try lifting more than their own weight, or doing a push-up every second, maybe running a 'fitness mile' in ten minutes. Anyway some people think it's very cool to eat crickets, and others be like "BUGS! No way am I going to eat INNNSEEECTS! People who recommend eating BUGS instead of beef are trying to degrade the American people!" I say, meh, not only can humans live a long time on a low-protein vegan diet, but that's actually beneficial for most of the common chronic diseases. But a lot of people who won't eat crickets will eat shrimp."

Silver: "Crickets are better food. For cats, anyway. We know you humans have strange digestive systems and like to at things that no cat would ever mistake for food."

Pastel: "Disgusting things like oranges. I'm glad I'm not a human!"

Serena: "If humans would rather eat these repulsive objects you call shrimp, that's good! It means all the more crickets for us."

This cat post was brought to you by the following Petfinder cats...for those who are not yet familiar with our game here, we pick at least three fabulously photogenic cats who are currently advertising for purrmanent homes through Petfinder. If by chance a reader is in the appropriate city and looking for a cat, the reader should run out and adopt the cat we've featured, unless of course they find one that's even more appealing, in real life. If not? Petfinder photos are for sharing. Share them, share them everywhere. Together we can picture these cats home.

Zipcode 10101: Gladys and Azalea from New York City 



They're stilll growing. Azalea is the one with the extra toes. In a shelter she picked Gladys as a sparring partnr and snuggling buddy. Both of them are bouncy-pouncy kittens. Azalea is described as the "puppy-like" kitten who greets humans at the door, Gladys as a calmer and quieter kitten, but they're not at the calmest stage of life. They are described as "play-maniacs." Sadly, it seems as if they may be in the custody of control freaks, but they do come with a money-back guarantee.

Zipcode 20202: Candy from D.C. 



She's described as a sweet cat who was put in a shelter while, and probably because, she had kittens. The kittens have been adopted and the challenge will now be to keep this affectionate cat from becoming fat or "neurotic." She's friendly with other cats and dogs. She might become a foster mother 

Zipcode 30303: Banjo and Fiddle from Fayetteville 



A possible side effect of adopting these kittens would be feeling a need to adopt a cat you call Guitar. They may also need different-colored collars; their individual pictures show different-looking faces but that could change as they grow up. Neither of those factors should be a deterrent to adopting them, but the fact that they're prisoners of the Humane Pet Genocide Society might be. 

Black cats bring good luck. The British have known this for years. A :scientific" explanation could be that melanin bonds chemically with adrenalin, so, all else being equal, black animals will usually be the energetic ones. Since all else is usually not equal, this can't be guaranteed. Still, any of the young black cats shown here is likely to provide the adoptive family with entertainment for years. 

If you've heard that black cats bring bad luck, there are two explanations for this backward thinking: 

(1) This superstition is common in France. Nufsed. In more enlightened countries people know that black cats bring good luck. Backward and unenlightened thinking on this and other subjects cost France dearly in the twentieth century. We should pray that they can break away from their misbeliefs. 

(Do ginger cats bring bad luck? Well, most ginger cats are male and some people don't want ginger kittens. Breaking this chain of bad luck, if you consider it such, requires a simple one-time operation.) 

(2) Failing to pet or feed a black cat who runs across your path could cause the "bad luck" of missing the chance to bond with a wonderful pet! (This applies only when the cat approaches you, soliciting food and attention and obviously looking for a human family. If it's a neighbor's pet going about its business, no problem.)


Thursday, March 23, 2023

Book Review: The Trumpeter of Krakow

Title: The Trumpeter of Krakow

Author: Eric P. Kelly

Date: 1928, 1942

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: none

Length: 218 pages

Illustrations: color plates by Angela Pruszynska

Quote: “He was the trumpeter of the Church of Our Lady Mary, and he had taken solemn oath to sound the trumpet each hour of the day and night...until death.”

According to the legend that takes up the first six pages of this book, this thirteenth-century trumpeter faithfully popped out on the tower, like a clock cuckoo, to serenade the invading Tartars. They shot him, and for another two hundred years the traditional tune was played in an incomplete form, in his memory. This is, however, the fictional story of a fifteenth-century youth who “reconstructed” the last notes of the tune...having plenty of adventures along the way.

Much historical research, and many quaint medieval details, went into this rather ponderous narrative. The author’s intrusive voice (“A five in the year 1407 had swept through this street...it was not until late in the 1490’s that the authorities compelled the students to live in university buildings”) occasionally clashes with his intention to describe scenes as if they were happening now (“Joseph noticed that there was still one more floor above them...As the light from the lantern fell upon his face, Joseph drew back”).

The story is plausible historical fiction, with gangs and ruffians, treasures, alchemists, spies, fires, and a king who arrives at the last minute to thwart the gangster who’s been trying to steal a treasure our hero’s family are guarding for the king. The ending may remind some adult readers of Steinbeck’s Pearl.

As an historical tale, The Trumpeter of Krakow has been appreciated by adult readers, but it’s written in the style of a particularly inspirational kind of adventure story for middle school boys, who should find it a challenging read. It’s a simple story with two distinctly bad characters, half a dozen thoroughly nice ones, and two fools. Polish words and names are explained, although the phonetic system that would allow English-speaking readers to read the story aloud is not explained, in the text. Contemporary children don’t seem to read it, but it won a prize as a children’s story in its day and is often shelved with the children’s books in libraries.

Usually recommended to those interested in Polish or Renaissance history, The Trumpeter of Krakow deserves consideration by anyone who likes fictional adventures. The color plates in my 1942 copy aren’t great art, but they have a certain Renaissance Faire charm, and may interest anyone interested in adding a Polish or Eastern European character to a Renaissance Faire.


Were the Former Days Better Than These?

This is a reflection on history, not a sermon, but it begins with a quote from the Bible. Ecclesiastes 7:10: "Say not thou, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not inquire †wisely concerning this." 

Did one generation really have a better time to grow up than another generation did? 

Should baby-boomers envy or pity the first children of the new millennium?

Well...who were our grandparents? Did they immigrate through Ellis Island, live in slums, work in sweatshops, and die young? All of my grandparents owned land but none of them was rich. One had been in the Great War, had been gassed, and always coughed and seemed alarmingly unhealthy, though he never actually had tuberculosis and lived to a reasonably old age. One developed diabetes just as insulin treatment was being developed; it was anyone's guess whether she'd live or die even with treatment and once, before treatment, she was pronounced dead. 

It was very important to some of their elders that most of my elders were, if not ministers, at least teachers, or if not teachers, at least lawyers. They didn't have to practice the professions. If female they could have babies instead, male or female, they could have farms, and on both sides of the family both male and female relatives did construction work. But it was a big status symbol, a hundred years ago, to be qualified to do some work as a teacher, lawyer, or minister. Also, if a man didn't want to fight in the World Wars, it was useful to be a minister. One of my grandfathers scorned that, went to Germany instead of Bible college, and spent the next fifty years coughing. The other one earned a law degree, was offered a job, was assigned the task of defending a criminal who he decided was guilty and deserved the full penalty of the law, and never practiced law again. He described himself as a cowboy.

In the "Roaring Twenties" much was written by and about the "flaming youth," whose poet was Edna St Vincent Millay and whose poem was,

"My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night.
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends,
It gives a lovely light."

They "roared" around spending their money on fads and "riotous living" because they didn't have much reason to expect to get old. The 1920s were plague years.  Some of what was written during that period documents how people tried to retreat into "Positive Thinking" and Christian Science, denying how nasty and short many lives were. Other writing faces up to things. The diaries that went into Rita Sims Quillen's novels document the ravages--some small towns had already been decimated by typhoid fever, some by influenza; mine was hit hardest by tuberculosis. Young people would see a friend, apparently well, working, and then the next time they went into town they'd hear how the person had died. Orphans were numerous, and were presumed to be better off if they could stay with any osrt of relative, even a distant relative who might overwork, underfeed, cheat and/or molest them, rather than in a church- or state-run orphanage. People who survived the 1920s were tough and hardy. 

This generation of my family was lucky indeed. Dad's father was the eldest of a total of fifteen babies, ten of whom lived to be teenagers. Though their father "started late" as a husband and father, having been born some time around 1850, he lived well into the 1940s, and the children born between 1890 and 1920 were all said to look like him. Ten of the fifteen lived to be teenagers; nine lived to be parents; eight were active grandparents when I was growing up. That kind of survival rate was not come by easily and, in hindsight, it seems to correlate with the family rules of etiquette that I heard derided as being silly and snobbish. The, er um, toffee-nosed members of my family kept a distance from townsfolk, didn't touch anyone in public, didn't sit or stand close enough to touch if it could be avided, didn't visit other people at home, didn't share other people's food, and lived to carry a lot of their town friends' coffins at a lot of funerals.

Mother's parents lived out West where sparser population avoided the plagues, but weird weather made farming unprofitable. They had a song, "This is not home; we only stay'cos we're too poor to move away." If they could sell their "Dust Bowl" farms and move anywhere else, they would. Grandfather gave up being a "cowboy" and became a "back East" farmer in Indiana. Then the T.V.A. commandeered the whole farm-and-market town where Mother grew up, flooded it, and turned it into a lake. Grandparents moved into a city and, being too old for more active employment, bought a boardinghouse near a university and became the houseparents at "The International House." As a teenager Mother always shared her room with an actual roommate and never knew from which country the next older girl would come. Not that the grandparents were pushing Mother to move out.

Mother's parents were more conservative, politically, than Dad's. (Dad's father and his siblings lived communally, when young, and liked the idea of small-scale voluntary "communism," or communalism.) The association of conservative politics with racism, even then, was a local thing. In some places people wanted segregation, in others they didn't. Mother's parents detested bigotry. To them every boarder they took in was a foster child. Some thirty-year-old graduate students want foster parents and some don't. Both of my parents were especially close to two of Mother's foster brothers who came from different parts of India. Neither of them ever planned on having a son-in-law of Indian descent, but they accepted my husband, melanism and all. Because the grandparents believed that "God hath made of one blood all nations" and argued back when people said they shouldn't rent rooms to Black students: "We take students as we find them, individually. X and Y are as nice as any other students. Nobody minds having them in the house." There was real, legitimate fear that Black people might have tuberculosis because some Black ghetto neighborhoods had been especially hard hit. Not everyone trusted the tests that showed all the university students to be TB-free, but my grandparents did.

So although Dad was "legally White" and his grey eyes were generally accepted as validation of Whiteness, yes, the'rents grew up aware of race issues. If you're White you might think a decade before the 1970s was "better" in the United States than the years after 1970. If you're Black, probably not! I knew people who remembered having to board city buses through the back door because, even after antibiotics for TB were developed, there was still fear that Black TB carriers might breathe on the White passengers in the front section. Or "When you, as a member of the Board of Regents at this Black college, go to call on our White sponsors, always go to the back door like a deliveryman." Ick.

Similar considerations might affect your perception of different decades as times to be female. Mother didn't remember the 1940s as a bad time to grow up female and top-heavy. She had respectable parents and protective foster brothers. She told me about only three attempts at date rape, one aggravated by a stated intention to mutilate her face, and felt lucky because she escaped the physical acts of rape and mayhem each time. She grew up accepting that it was normal that teen romance would involve that sort of thing. If you were pretty and popular and talented, even your admirers couldn't be expected to show any real liking or respect for you. 

For people who married each other in the absence of liking or respect, doctors used to prescribe "tranquillizers." Later on the shellshocked veterans and battered wives of the 1950s became the twitching, incoherent, "typical" homeless population of the 1980s. People who tried to help populations that became homeless because of inflated property values, workforce reductions, and similar simple-lack-of-money situations thought the homeless experience would drive anyone bonkers, but actually the typical psychiatric profile of a homeless person was someone reacting to the specific side effects of specific prescription drugs. So the 1940s and 1950s weren't a very good time to look for psychiatric help, either.

Nevertheless my parents remembered the 1930s' Great Depression as a happy time of innocent childhood in the care of loving parents, and even the 1940s' War as a time when, well, they were a great deal better off than many people their age, because the war was fought in Europe and the Pacific Ocean.

Mother said she always wore shoes, because tetanus vaccination was not yet known to be effective and tetanus was already known to lurk in Indiana soil. Dad always had shoes, but in warm weather, like most kids his age, he was allowed to save shoes for special occasions--like church--no need to wear shoes to school. School books were handed down until they literally fell apart, and "We always hoped to get books with the backs already torn off, because you could roll them up, stick them in your pockets, and have your hands free" when they took those books home to study. For his generation as for mine, taking books home to study was an embarrassment anyway; homework was assigned but any reasonably bright person did it during the down time in the classroom. Everyone they knew was aware of luxuries they couldn't afford, but everyone had adequate food and clothing. Taking charity from the church or welfare from the state was a disgrace. People who had any self-respect did odd jobs or sold things, if they needed money, and asked neighbors to do odd jobs or sell them things, if they wanted to help. People recognized handouts as a curse to those who give and those to take, trading as the way people prevented poverty.

Eleanor Roosevelt blathered about the poverty in "Appalachia." In my home town people said, well, Appalachia was another town, more than a day's walk away. Dad learned about real poverty when he got to Germany. All boys his age at least claimed to want to go to Germany and stomp on Hitler. Many of them did go to Germany, but by that time Hitler had already killed himself and the problem for Army officers was to limit "fraternization" between GI's and the widows, orphans, and grandparents who were still alive. Everywhere our troops were sent in Europe they found people trying to rebuild and recover, felt empathy, hoarded their own rations and gave treats to orphans when they could. For years afterward they told my generation to eat our vegetables because somewhere a poor orphan wanted those vegetables.

I may have heard more about orphans than the average baby-boomer. Dad earned a B.S. in engineering, but he finished his degree in Florida, at a school that was accredited only in Florida, so his diploma didn't yield any relevant job offers in places where he and Mother wanted to live. His elders wanted him to have a graduate degree in one of "The Professions" so he became a Reverend Doctor of a little church in California, but, like the grandfather who never practiced law, Dad never took money for preaching, nor did he perform weddings or baptisms. The church in California appealed to Dad because, after determining that a man had read the Bible, they officially accepted his right to teach whatever understanding of the Bible he had reached, or support any other churches he could in conscience support, as long as he sent some money to the church's official mission in Mexico. Dad apparently sent money to the orphanage in Mexico every year, but he certainly wasn't going to show any favoritism for Mexican orphans over any other orphans. He was on mailing lists, when I was growing up. Our house was full of appeals on behalf of orphans around the world. Dad kept the letters and photos to share with adults who might send money, of course, but he shared them with us children first. "See, here is a little girl just like you, only because she's lost her parents and she lives in India, she doesn't have a room full of toys or a closet full of pretty clothes like you. She has to stand in line and wait for a bowl of rice every day. That's all. Just the rice. No milk and sugar. No shelf of books, either. If she's lucky she might be able to read a few school books at some sort of school, some year. When you feel like complaining about what you have, just remember little Suri here." 

My brother and I often played "school," as children. We were going to have a big boarding school, bringing in other adults as needed of course, and take in all of those orphans. We got tired of hearing about them, but we wished them well, and wanted to feed them all the green beans and zucchini they supposedly wanted, and share our books and toys with them. 

So, were the 1960s or 1970s good times to grow up in? Of course they were. I was there. I remember it well. People my age were young, we adjusted our expectations to our time and place, and most of us were healthy and eupeptic. 

"The air's hazy with pollution," I used to hear from one anti-car elder or another. (It was not part of any religion or enforced on younger family members, but in the 1940s all of one branch of the family above about age fifteen had taken a vow to resist the fad for motor vehicles, and some still rode and drove horses.) "You'll never see as clear a view as we used to know. The ground's been so polluted, with filth and chemicals and broken glass, it's not safe for you to go barefoot the way we used to do. Oh, the mess they're making in Vietnam where your cousins are is likely to keep 'escalating' on into a real war, with Russia, and bombs and poison gas everywhere. You, young man, might have to go overseas and get killed. You, young lady, might meet the man you want to marry, and then he'd have to go overseas and get killed. And then there's this drug thing, I pray youall can keep clear of that, but there are evildoers who will feed young people drugs. Oh, this is a terrible time to be young. I might like to be younger and healthier again, but I wouldn't trade places with you!"

But for those who were actually young, living with devoted parents, it was still a good time to be young. Miniskirts were not for me, the parents said, and I didn't feel inclined to argue. On occasions too dressy for jeans and T-shirts I wore the new fashion, stitched by Mother at home, from remnants on sales at the fabric store: the polyester leisure suit. Let's just say that, when women my age started buying our own clothes, we didn't even consider polyester. It got to be a bad joke, fast. 


There was abundant food for angst when baby-boomers were growing up. When we were feeling teen angst we could always blame the headline news. Much of their contents was blameworthy, Heaven knows. Most of it did not directly affect our lives. I remember reading some of the headlines, watching the TV news clips (my town didn't pick up TV broadcasts until 1977, but for anti-car people my parents spent a lot of time on the road). Sometimes it seemed unreal, a joke; I'd hear a grown man wailing about the fact that the Vice-President's given name was "Spiro," as if he were to blame for that. We thought that was a hoot. I remember a night in a motel we spent cackling about it. Every time the laughter started to fade Dad would think of something else to say that had the name "Spiro" in it and we'd laugh like loons again. You had to be there. Life lesson learned: if other people are determined to put somebody called "Spiro" into public office, you might as well laugh as cry. (For the very young: the real problem was not his name, but his attitude toward my generation, which was unsympathetic, especially to our complaints about useless dumbed-down pre-choice schools and the mess in Vietnam. He wasn't going to help with those problems.)

Some of my generation's angst was just plain silly. "Never trust anyone over age thirty," my generation was exhorted by a lad who was close to that age himself. Hello? My mother was thirty years old when I was born. She agreed that human beings are frail and fallible, to be trusted only to a certain degree, but I did know I could sleep in a car when she was driving it. 

(Some of the disparity between what the media reported about generations of Americans, and what Americans actually saw, had to do with the fact that human generations aren't all one length. In my father's family the generations are mostly thirty years apart. Early marriage was legal, though it seems always to have been a low-status indicator, in Virginia so some families' generations are eighteen or even fifteen years apart. You might expect that people who postpone marriage until they're thirty would have one child or none, but in reality, sometimes they have ten or more. Then if an older child, usually a daughter, marries at twenty, an aunt or uncle might be born in the same year as a niece or nephew. I have a young second cousin who was born just a week before his eldest nephew was. I remember giving him extra prezzies so he could have the pleasure of being an uncle, handing things down to his nephew...)

The 1980s were definitely better than previous decades to be a young woman who needs to start paying bills before she's finished a suitable degree for a job she wants to keep. We were entrepreneurs. We were "accidental managers." I was so lucky, when I called other people to do the jobs I didn't have time to do, they were all friends and got along and kept the network going even when I was out of town. Business was so much more fun than being bored housewives, especially for those of us whose doctors thought a baby-free life was a wise choice. 

The 1980s were definitely not such a good time to be a kid, in one way. Mothers working rather than being bored housewives meant nobody at home in suburban neighborhoods during the day, nobody kids could call for help. Before the 1980s it was understood that children between ages five or six or so and fifteen or so are perfectly competent to look after themselves, and their parents' homes, in ordinary circumstances and need only to be able to call on an adult to help in emergencies. Kids played outdoors, alone or in packs, and earned a quarter here and a dollar there doing odd jobs, and even baby-sat real babies who needed to be sat beside. In the 1980s most of the hysteria about child molesters came from the pseudomemories formed by early cases of Prozac Dementia, but some of it was real. Kids could not be allowed to carry their own keys, let themselves into their own homes after school, play or study or watch TV until a parent got in from work, because in most neighborhoods parents could no longer say "If anything is really wrong, say if you come home and the house is on fire, just go to the Vanzettis' house down the street." Mrs. Vanzetti wouldn't be at home either. After-school activities had been a bit of a yuppie thing, sometimes bewailed as taking away free time or study time, for my generation. For the next generation they became obligatory. 

The whole twentieth century was not a good time to be an introvert, actually. Among many false and harmful ideas Sigmund Freud made popular was the one that extrovert tendencies ought to be indulged or encouraged. The history of civilized societies had formerly consisted, to a considerable extent, of teaching extroverts to act like human beings, speak when they're spoken to and not before, keep their word and be on time for any plans they've made, not expect to be entertained or talked to when people have not made plans that include them, stick to a budget, control their appetites, take the time to do things right, generally not become social pests. Freud "cured" the "neuroses" of "repressed" extroverts by encouraging them in self-indulgent behavior. From this came an idea that society as a whole would be saner if everybody acted like self-indulgent extroverts. Now those of us who didn't want to yap at people who had other things to do, "forget" plans, "drop in on" people who weren't prepared to be visited, get drunk, get fat, go bankrupt, spread diseases, "grab hamburgers" instead of cooking good meals, have unwanted babies and/or abortions, or generally mess up our lives by acting like out-of-control extroverts, were told we were the ones who were "neurotic." Civilization probably can recover from this, and I say the sooner the better, but the cost to what should have been our better minds has been enormous. The deterioration of the arts...don't get me started. The discovery that introversion is an hereditary physical trait, with its implication that discrimination against us in business is as evil as race discrimination, and even that extroversion needs to be recognized as a sort of mild disability since it comes from incomplete neurological development of the part of the brain that includes the conscience, has yet to reach its full effect on society but its effect has certainly been good.

My generation as a group loathed racism and generally eradicated it, which is why malcontents continue to scream about it. If you didn't vote for Barack Obama, or agree with his politics, you still had to admit that he was a class act. He looked presidential. It is possible for a triracial person to look presidential! Previous generations didn't see that. We do. We even think it's possible for a "pure" Black person like Ben Carson to look presidential. In a recent presidential election, the fiscal conservative vote was split between Cruz and Carson. Cruz. Not an English name. Candidate Cruz spoke good English but there was a time when ethnic-minority White candidates weren't considered presidential either. In that way I think real improvements have been made.

And of course we liked computers. The slight gain in I.Q. scores produced by increasing cultural sophistication (more people grew up with books and bank accounts, so more people learned about those things at earlier ages) was nothing to the discovery that, when people are exposed to computers at an early age, they take to computers intuitively and develop apps that the previous generation of engineers couldn't even imagine. Obviously I think computers are delightful toys, and so do my e-friends, or we wouldn't be doing things like blogging. Equally obviously, the wrong uses of computers are already myriad, threatening to become more so, and computers may yet be used to lead us into World War III or a Frankenstein world, Orwell's world, either of Margaret Atwood's equally gruesome future-to-be-avoided worlds, or who knows what might even manage to be worse. 

Today's young people...I don't know. Like us, they seem to want to work out their own solutions to their own problems. Like us, they have things to blame their elders for, and things to thank us for. 

Young people have always been clueless and had immature personalities. This has not changed. We see them--for most older people, this "them" includes all younger people except our own children and grandchildren, and for some it includes them too--and think they look like wretched messes. This is an indication that it's time for the exercise in humility, or humiliation, known as Sharing Those School Yearbooks With the Kids. We were clueless, had immature personalities, and looked like wretched messes at that age, too. 

Hey, at least I'm consistent. I didn't think much of the crop of nineteen-year-olds coming up into college when I was twenty-five. I don't think much of the current crop now. I didn't think much of myself when I was nineteen, either. If anything I've come to feel more empathy for nineteen-year-olds now that I'm out of danger of being mistaken for one of them. I just think the first few years of adulthood, when people are just beginning to figure out how they're going to be adults, are a horrible stage of life that people who don't have to be that age, or be the parents or teachers of people that age, should charitably try not to notice. But I do see encouraging signs that The Nephews and most of their friends are going to be worthy heirs of their elders. 

There may be exceptions. I don't see the current King of England as having much chance of living up to the Queen's record on much of anything. Then again, most of the past Kings of England couldn't be favorably compared with Elizabeth II either. And the problems facing the King are greater than, but do not include, being young.

People who are nineteen today do not have the educational opportunities people who were nineteen had in 1980, no. This web site has already considered the monstrous overgrowth of college debt. If the young earn college degrees and are offered jobs in the traditional way, they'll be lucky to pay off their debts and be able to look for a house of their own around the time the women become too old to have children. There are ways the brightest will be able to work around this, and for those who've read Charlotte Iserbyt's book on what some educationists hope the current education system will lead to, there are ways to take advantage of the work-arounds and avoid the worst consequences Iserbyt describes. 

One thing my generation need to think about, with which I'd like to stop for today...actually leads us back to the Bible, although this is not meant to be a religious post. Non-Christians are free to think of the Bible as merely an influential historical document, here. The Bible describes a system of land management that minimized poverty for as long as people abided by it. Of course, when they adopted a monarchy, it took only a few generations for a corrupt monarch to foul up the system and all but destroy the nation; but, apart from that, the system worked. 

And this is how it goes: When the nation of Israel organized itself, an agreement was reached--we are not told by what procedure--dividing the available land among the founding families. Note well, although "the stranger" who passed through ancient Israel, renting or working for or married into the old families, had rights and was to be treated with respect, there was no suggestion that "the stranger" needed to be equal with those who had inherited property. Land could not, ever, be finally sold as long as any descendants of the original owner were alive. Land use could be sold for up to fifty years at a time but, every fifty years, all titles reverted to the heirs of the original owner. All land was privately owned but every Israelite had some land rights, because their culture would have punished any landowner who let relatives "starve at his gate." 

And yes, people were motivated, not to starve or otherwise get rid of their elders or other living people, but to limit the size of their families. That was one reason why the book of Proverbs suggests that a young man might be tempted by a neighbor's wife (the situation is described in such specific terms that readers probably knew whom Solomon had in mind) and that he should be faithful to his own wife and...Proverbs 5:19 may have sounded more like a poetic phrase in Hebrew than it does in King James' English, how could it not, but it also describes one of the really reliable methods of birth control. 

We may not need to open this topic for national discussion (what the Left really fear is not that it might be "racist" but that it wouldn't be "racist" enough) but one thing we can do, today, is select young people who appreciate the benefit of one home, their base for life even if they rent it out and live somewhere else for a while. If we don't have children or grandchildren who qualify, adopt some who do. Then, instead of selling our own homes to move into "care homes" if we get old enough, entail our homes to them, let them move in and provide the security we need unless and until we actually need medical care, and leave them the security of owning houses and land. The economy can do without realtors very much better than children can do without decent homes where they can play, and keep pets, and cultivate gardens.

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

A Famous Book I've Never Read and Why

There are several. The reasons are all the same: Some books were much discussed, when I was in school, as having been considered important in the past but now being considered less important. Instead of having to read them I heard and read why I should read something else instead. 

So...I missed Middlemarch, though I read Silas Marner and Daniel Deronda.

I never read Enoch Arden or Ethan Fromme.

I never read, though I've always intended to read, Paradise Regained.

I never read, or wanted to read, The Sun Also Rises.

I remember that I didn't read all of the Leather Stocking Saga, though I agreed with Mark Twain that it was badly done, so bad that I don't remember which volumes I didn't read. It's a rare man--usually they're married to women writers at the time--who can make up really good female characters, but Cooper's were so bad as to be embarrassing. 

Book Review: Philosophy of Education

Title: Philosophy of Education

Author: John Dewey

Date: 1946, 1958, 1971

Publisher: Philosophical Library (1946), Littlefield Adams & Co. (1958, 1971)

ISBN: none

Length: 308 pages plus index

Quote: “Some educators suppose they are rendering a service by insisting upon an in­herent difference between studies they call liberal and others they call mechanical and utilitarian.”

Nobody would read Dewey’s Philosophy of Education for pleasure. An academic audience may demand a technical and specialized style of writing, but there are writers, like C.S. Lewis or Noam Chomsky, who can be read for pleasure even when they’re being technical. John Dewey was not one of the blessed few. I suppose age, culture, and temperament might give some readers different reactions from mine—being a middle-aged American “ear thinker” I kept losing the thread of Dewey’s thoughts because his words persistently seemed to be trying to fit themselves into an old jingle from the “Electric Company” educational television program, because every fifth or sixth word in several sentences ends in “-ation”—but I can’t imagine anyone ever returning to this book with the pleasure one might have in rereading The Abolition of Man every ten years.

I mention this partly because the college at which I took teacher-training courses was sectarian enough to teach a course called “Philosophy of Christian Education.” The document studied, similar in bulk to the 1971 (paperback) edition of Philosophy of Education but shorter, was Ellen White’s Education. There was some wailing about Mrs. White’s turgid writing style. Why mince words? It was bad...but Dewey’s was worse.

Nevertheless this was the book that shaped the twentieth century’s ideas of what public schools ought to be and do; and, as left-wingers like Hillary Rodham Clinton are beginning to abandon the name of “liberal” to more independent thinkers, like me, and reclaim their true colors as “progressives,” it may be worthwhile for younger readers to reacquaint themselves with the writings that originally defined the difference between a liberal and a progressive. John Dewey was a progressive, and in this book he makes his case for progressivism.

In fact the only problem I can find with his case for progressivism is the problem I have with all progressivist thinking. It does not match the historical facts. Dewey simply assumed that the American working class felt oppressed by the capitalism into which the original, or real, liberalism had degenerated, to the degree that hordes of American workers would soon be waving red flags and howling for revolution. If those hypothetical American Communists weren’t appeased, they were going to take over! Whereas in fact, although the workers were demanding better wages and working conditions, they actually admired capitalism and capitalists, wanted to become capitalists, and objected vigorously to many of the government programs the progressives thought the workers ought to want. The changes the workers actually wanted were much more modest than what Dewey and his fellow believers thought would be necessary to offer as compromises.

That American workers would even be attracted to the same ideas as Russian and Chinese workers turned out to have been merely a speculation in the minds of foreigners. In reality the American working class never believed in Communism, demanded the right not to join labor unions, do not want to be protected from the vagaries of the free market by expert planning, rejected socialized medical care, like to boast about how strenuous and/or dangerous their jobs are, and are about as likely as not to choose fewer twelve-hour work days over more eight-hour work days. The most successful attempts to opt out of Social Security have been made by the working class; the school choice movements in several states originated in the working class. And the bilingual American working class reserve the right to despise the mental laziness of monoglots, but most of them would rather practice their English than keep on teaching us their languages forever.

It’s ironic that Dewey began, on page 35, paying homage to classically liberal ideas. “The meaning of democracy...was expressed by Abraham Lincoln when he said that no man was good enough or wise enough to govern others without their consent...A woman told me once that she asked a very well-known American statesman what he would do for the people...He said, ‘...look people over and decide what it was that they needed and then try and give it to them.’ She said, ‘...There are people that would ask other people what they wanted before they tried to give it to them.’” And yet the people who would ask others what they wanted have been so signally lacking in the American left wing...

Dewey correctly charges the original liberal thinkers, the ones who felt that everyone has an absolute right to swing per arms right up to the point at which per neighbor’s nose begins, with negligence in allowing illiberal greedheads to enact protectionist legislation that kept smaller competitors out of the market. The capitalist market ceases to be free when big businesses, or even large “professional associations,” are allowed to set up “standards of service” that do not actually protect the customer from anything but merely protect the bigger investors from having to compete with typically more efficient smaller investors. And it would be very interesting, if John Dewey were still alive, to ask him what he now thinks about the fact that although there are some genuinely liberal left-wingers, e.g. Jim Hightower, who are still concerned about these capitalist encroachments on the free market, most left-wingers are not.

Part of the problem in any political party is of course simple greed and venality: so long as a country can support a bloated government, left-wingers can hope for sinecures in that bloated government. Another part is deep philosophical confusion. In the course of Philosophy of Education Dewey works his way around to an assertion that “the ends which liberalism has always pro­fessed can be attained only as control of the means of production and distribution is taken out of the hands of individuals” on page 125. By page 299 he’s lashing out against Christianity so frantically that he rejects “the individual or singular nature of the subject of sin” in some remarkably turgid rants. “It took more than the undeniable but negative fact of the gradual attenuation and decay of the importance once attached to the soul...to effect an adequate elimination,” apparently of the belief that people have individual souls or personalities. “There are, in short, such things as enjoyments and sufferings which are ‘private’ in occurrence...the privacy of enjoyments and sufferings in their occurrence seems to describe a social fact,” Dewey temporizes on page 305. Earlier in the book he has acknowledged that every person does at least know more than other people about where the person’s own shoes pinch, but by page 305 Dewey has worked himself into a corner and can’t seem to stop. “[T]he dentist probably knows the nature of toothache...better than does the one who has it...[W]ere our techniques further advanced, nerve-graftings might enable me to feel or have a toothache whose immediate locus is in the jaw of your head.”

This book offers no reading pleasure, but it’s a good book to have read, once, and to keep around for reference, if you want to understand the origins of the fundamental insanity in the public school system. Some of the ancient Hebrews, we are told, whined for the better selection of food they had had as slaves in Egypt. They did not want to be "free" to starve. But the progressives have degenerated a step further than those ancient Hebrews. Even when the food is better in freedom, they want to be slaves. A hundred years later, that the American working class vigorously rejected everything associated with the Russian Revolution makes no difference to the progressives. They are too attached to the idea of applying solutions that won't work to problems that have corrected or at least replaced themselves. Their sacred scriptures tell them that the corrective to capitalist abuses must be socialist abuses, and they carry on whining for socialist abuses just as if none of the hundred years since Dewey's time had ever happened.

Bad Poetry: Papa Don't Preach

It's been a while since I've done a verse writing challenge. I enjoy them. That's the trouble. I've had tedious and toilsome business to take care of this winter. Not much time for enjoying. It's not really writer's block but, when tedious business is going on, my creative brain tends to fixate on getting the tedious business done and out of the way before it lets itself work on things that are fun.

So when the toil reached a stage of near-completion at which some time for enjoyment seemed indicated, the first writing challenge I came across was one from DVerse: Write a song, or poem, or something, in celebration of a father or fathers, incorporating three different titles of popular songs addressed to fathers.


Well...obviously my take on "Papa Don't Preach" is radically different from Madonna Ceccone's. My poem is not closely related to the other two songs, either.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2CC78TUmAM (Warning: James Brown. Not one of his worst, but includes enough yelling and swearing to prove it's JB.)


My father was an ordained minister who never, after I was born at least, stood in a pulpit or preached any kind of church service. He believed in doing things in the oldfashioned Green way, doing a lot of hard work by hand. He did not want our road to be accessible to motor traffic, particularly, and growled about erosion when neighbors widened and flattened what had been a trail into a rough narrow private road, but when erosion caused somebody's vehicle to scrape on a rock he might go out and flatten the rock with a twelve-pound hammer. Motor vehicles emit more pollutants when they are damaged. If people had to drive motor vehicles, Dad would growl, they ought to take care of the things.

His generation believed that, as Shel Silverstein said, "this world is rough, and if a man's going to make it, he's got to be tough." They cultivated the Emotional Intelligence, before either the phrase or the neurological insight behind it had been discovered, of processing thought through the calculating left brain without giving themselves much chance to feel pain or, in many cases, pleasure. They prized being unsympathetic to anything resembling weakness. "He was big and thin and grey and old, and I looked at him, and my blood ran cold" was the way they wanted to grow old. Feo, fuerte y formal. "Feeling" was strictly women's business. If a polio survivor wanted to walk, or work, or get well, he had to push those growing arms and legs through a lot of pain.

The gender polarity they believed in made it difficult for fathers to love daughters, though of course some did. When, for whatever reasons, little girls did spend time with their fathers, there were many benefits to being a "Daddy's Girl" but also some losses. There was a tradition of "Daddy's Girls" being treated like boys even to the extent of being given nicknames that sounded like boys' names, dressed in jeans, taught to bait their own fishhooks and throw fast pitches and ridicule all the typical "girls' things." My parents seriously tried to move beyond that kind of thinking. I didn't have to be like a boy just because Mother worked, until she became too ill, and Dad did the housekeeping. I was Daddy's Girl. I could do a few "boys' things" and still appreciate dolls, cooking, and needlework.

But, in order to be the polio survivor and old-style drill sergeant he was, my Daddy had acquired several extra layers of toughness. He wasn't mean or violent. He was a Virginia gentleman...but Virginia gentlemen were always competing and comparing themselves, and most of them just showed respect by staying away from Dad. Why go where the comparisons are never going to come out in your favor?

Truth be told, we children preferred to stay away from Dad too. He was not a child abuser or anything icky like that. He was just impossible to please, or like, or enjoy hanging out with. He wanted to teach his children things, especially the two older ones, who were supposed to be brilliant. (He didn't seem to demand quite so much of my natural sister, whose I.Q. was supposed to be merely normal.) He wanted us to be smarter and wiser and braver and generally more "mature" than the grown men who didn't enjoy his company, and was bitterly disappointed by any reminder that we were, what, five years old? 

Like the joke about the "egghead" who said, "My kid got off to a slow start. It took him two years to learn to read, but now that he's started he's getting on well..."

"Two years? That poor little fellow. How old was he when he finally learned how to read?"

"Why, I said it took him two years--obviously, he was two!" 

I was not quite four when the'rents caught me reading, and although it was strictly a matter of my eyes maturing ahead of schedule--the books I understood were the picture books for four-year-olds--I've never completely lived that down. The worst part was that my brother, whose actual understanding of what he read and listened to was more precocious than mine, developed the ability to see printed letters clearly on a normal little-boy schedule; he could spell out "I love you Mom" with magnetic letters on the refrigerator, at three, but he didn't sit down and read full-length books until he was eight. Dad used to yell at him for "being too stubborn and stupid" to read books.

"Sensitive" was among the last things men Dad's age wanted to be called, and the last things anyone ever thought of calling him. Nevertheless, he had High Sensory Perceptivity. They used to want to let the trait be noticeable only in terms of their being able to hit targets normal people couldn't see. 

So...The earliest English poems had four downbeats (stressed syllables) to a line, varying numbers of unstressed syllables in between. The popular "song for Dad" mentioned in the poem below has this metre--though the poem certainly does not fit the tune of the song.

Papa, don't preach, for the people can't bear it.
Your path is stony and high and steep.
The people never will want to hear it,
Will cling to sins, make the angels weep.

You beat down weakness readily
As you'd beat down a rattlesnake
Or break the rocks to build the road
That you had never wished to make.

You thrashed the sickly little child
Off the prison of your soul
And kicked his traces off your feet
And rose up tall and strong and whole.

In an abstract way you always knew
That common people's inner men
Were not the sort of men that you
Were. You forgot, time and again.

Papa, don't take no mess--there's no need,
Never a need for a threatening hand.
Those who see you use axe or hammer
Are quickly gone, or yours to command.

--My father was tougher and grimmer than Odin.
All childish pleasures withered away
Where his shadow fell. We should be wiser than elders,
Earn Bachelor of Science degrees in a day!

If I was afraid, I could count on my father
For derision, a scolding, a taunt, and a sneer:
Why did I not turn the runaway horses?
How could a child of his know fear?

And for many years I wondered in silence,
Having learned well not to ask him why
The song for Dad, the one he demanded
I learn, was "Love Is Like a Butterfly." 

Tuesday, March 21, 2023

Book Review: How War Changed Rondo

Title: How War Changed Rondo 

Author (Ukrainian): Romana Romanyshyn and Andriy Lesiv

Translator: Oksana Lushchevska

Date (Ukrainian): 2015 

Date (English): 2021

Publisher (Ukrainian): Vydavnystvo Staroho Leva (Old Lion Publishing House)

Publisher (English): Enchanted Lion

ISBN: 978-1-59270-367-8

Length: 36 pages

Illustrations by the authors

Quote: "The town of Rondo was like no other...Everyone liked living in Rondo."

Rondo is not a real town; it's a collage of things that suggest creativity and a good life. The main characters in this story about surviving war are a light bulb called Danko, a tied-balloon dog called Fabian, and an origami bird called Zirka. /Houses in Rondo resemble a birdhouse, a grounded hot-air balloon, a dollhouse, a fort, a jewel box, a lighthouse, labyrinths, and other whimsical collage-y things. Flowers in Rondo sing; "vocal performances of the town's anthem--Mozart's Rondo alla Turca--were the biggest draw." 

Hello? Would anyone like to listen to a performance of Mozart's Rondo alla Turca? 


It has no vocal parts. So this is a book of surreal silliness, which may be the best way for children to absorb information about the horrors of war.

In any case the evocative wackiness of this picture book ought to appeal to adults. I can imagine children not understanding enough to like this book, but for an adult who fails to respond to it there is probably no hope.

Ukraine is not a bad place. Russia is not a bad place. War is a bad thing. War is never a good idea. This web site supports neither side of a war because this web site supports ending it. Whoever stops fighting first wins. Maybe they should use their creativity, like the characters in this book. Mozart never wrote a song to sing to the tune of his Rondo alla Turca. Maybe those poor Euro-idjits should stop fighting and write one. 

Easy but Irresistible Blogging Challenge: Things That Made Us Happy When We Were Children

Today I felt slightly sick. Norovirus has reached my neighborhood; Sunday was the day I spent on the bed-to-toilet-to-bed circuit but I still feel drained and peak-ed. I went into town. I felt sick of going into town on the same tedious business that's been eating up my energy this winter. I feel the need for a feel-good blog post. Maybe readers want one too. 

Thinking about things that made us happy when we were children is a well documented way to feel good now. If reading this post makes you feel good, please share either a thing that made you happy, or a link to a post about several things that made you happy, when you were a child.

It's been said, with some truth, that children aren't what some adults prefer to call happy. Children have not lived long enough and made enough life choices to look back with satisfaction on the effects of their life choices. They can only experience moments of joy, or enjoyment. So? What did we enjoy?

(Some psychologists say this exercise works best if you don't try to pick the "top" ten or twenty things, but just write a list, as long as seems right to you, as fast as possible.)

I found that what leaped to mind were things that come close to the idea of adults' happiness with their life choices. Not that I didn't enjoy other things besides learning experiences. I did. I liked hot baths in winter, cold showers in summer, sweets, that fluffy cardigan that I hung on the fence post where someone else could take it home the first day, snuggling up beside Mother on the couch, cuddling cats, hanging out with horses, and the sheer novelty of eating Cheerios in front of a TV set that was blaring an ad for Cheerios during a summer road trip. I had favorite toys, favorite clothes, favorite shoes, favorite songs, and favorite foods. However, children's natural motivation is to gain competence, and what stands out in memory are moments when I was gaining competence in some way. Even when I thought of my first favorite flowers...I had several favorite flowers and trees, as a child, but I associate the memory of writing the words "yellow, joyful" with a moment of gaining emotional competence.


1. Yellow forsythia in bloom...especially the yard full of overgrown forsythia at the house we rented when I was five years old, but any and all forsythia will do. (So, when I was six years old, I saw yellow forsythia in bloom again and felt cheerful. At school Mrs. Fatso was having a very grouchy day. I whipped out my crayons and paper and drew a lovely picture of a big old farmhouse with its front yard full of overgrown forsythia, just for her. Mrs. Fatso snarled, "Nobody can see what you drew, or wrote, or whatever, with a yellow crayon on white paper. You just wasted your time and your crayons! Now sit down and be quiet!" I sat down and quietly thought about how easy it was to be happy about the approaching spring and the beautiful yellow flowers, even if Mrs. Fatso wanted to be unhappy. In fact, it was easy to think that being unhappy was something Mrs. Fatso needed or deserved. I could be happy aaaallll by my little self!)

2. Reading a good book. When I was seven years old, that meant a book that someone had said was too far ahead of my grade level for me to enjoy it, with bonus points if it contained things that Herbert W. Armstrong said were not real and should have no place in even children's books, like fairies or witches, and even more bonus points if all the important characters were girls. When I was thirteen, it meant a book with fortuitous combinations of words in it, especially poetry. When I was fifteen, it meant a book that made me think, reflect, learn, and/or argue; and it still does.

3. Music with a fast, not heavy, beat. At first I liked dancing about or bouncing up and down to the beat. When I was three some adults thought my baby voice was close enough to tunefulness to be taught to sing. Not many years later, some relatives who were a bit vain about their trendy new gadget made my first recording of a new hit song--"Rocky Top." All subsequent musical milestones became pleasant memories. My home town was in a state of musical ferment at the time, because the Carters did so well with their music and so many other people had at least sold albums or arranged regular paying tours. Band and chorus were things cool kids did. The siblings and I had our little circuit of disabled elders to whom we sang, and to whom our tapes were circulated, as "The Three Bigguns." (Talk about corny dad jokes? Most of these people remembered my tall, slightly humor-impaired father as having been a little kid, so now we were "Little whatever-his-real-name-was and the Three Bigguns.") Of 27 kids in my ninth grade music class at school, 18 had been paid for musical performances or recordings before our ten-year reunion. I sang for scholarship money in college, officially retired from show business at 22, but recorded a retrospective album at 27. Then I got tinnitus and let music slide away.


4. Learning to ride a bicycle. I don't like pushing uphill and riding the brakes downhill, so I'm not a bicycle enthusiast, but at times when I lived in flatter country I was one. 

5. Having my very own strawberry patch. A suspicious amount of the work that goes into a strawberry patch did itself when I was at school, but I never asked and Dad never told. Anyway I tended my own berries in summer, and that was fun.

6. Learning all the textile crafts in middle school. There still exist things I embroidered, wove, sewed, and quilted before I learned to knit, and I have even crocheted. I'm not sure why I zoom-focussed on knitting and let the other crafts go, in my early twenties. Probably the fact that Mother sewed, one of the great-aunts crocheted, and one of the neighbors quilted, for the neighborhood, had something to do with it. Nobody else in my neighborhood was much of a knitter. So I was. 

7. Learning to type. On Mother's old Corona typewriter, from the early 1950s before the Smith and Corona companies merged; it would do as much as 30 words a minute and went to the repair shop every few months, and it made writing stories ever so much easier.

8. Learning to drive...a horse. I never really had a horse of my own, though we boarded a pony with whom I bonded to some extent. The pony had come to her owners cheap because of a foot injury and, after four or five years of luxurious idleness, she didn't want to carry humans about again. But one of the great-uncles had a sweet old Morgan mare who was strong enough and patient enough to give riding lessons to as many as four children at a time, and there may still exist old snapshots in which I was one of the four. So in due course I was taught to drive that old mare. 

9. Writing my first full-length novels. They were, of course, very bad novels, bit it felt glorious to have outlined and written all those words on one topic.

10. One non-Barbie doll I had. I was given some baby dolls, which I considered repulsive, not at all like the resl thing. When I played with them I might have been releasing some repressed feelings about the few people I'd seen who were even younger and smaller than I was, because the "games" they suggested to my mind were "Pull off their arms and legs and stick them onto different places" and "See how far they float downstream before they sink." (I wasn't cruel to babies, at the age--four to six--when I was either ignoring or dismembering baby dolls. I wasn't sentimental about them but I would check their diapers and enlist help to change the diapers before leaving the vicinity of a whiny baby.) Barbies interested me, when I was seven and eight and on into my teen years, because they weren't meant to appeal to motherly instincts; they appealed to artistic instincts, they were models to make clothes and build houses for. Barbies were serious fun. But in between there was one "child" doll, packaged with shoes and the ability to stand on its feet, that I liked carrying around and showing off. An aunt had found and bought the doll at the airport and named it Cynthia Ann. I liked Cynthia Ann partly as a souvenir of the aunt's visit, and partly because she was a pretty doll with rich dark brown hair/ What made her special, though, was that, when I took her to school and everyone wanted to pose her "walking" and "waving," and her cheap plastic arms and legs fell off, I could snap them back on. Cynthia Ann was fixable junk.

Monday, March 20, 2023

Book Review: Conversations Across America

Title: Conversations Across America 

Author: Kari Loya

Date: 2022

Publisher: XK Productions

ISBN: 979-8-9861258-2-4

Length: 276 pages

Quote: "To families facing Alzheimer's. Find moments of joy."

In his seventies, Merv Loya (the name is Finnish) was in better physical condition than many teenagers. But his mind--which had been a good one--was starting to go. The family reached that terrible, traumatic decision, which so many families seem to be buying into these days, that it was necessary to sell his house, throw away most of his belonging, and put him in a nice private instritution, where he'd be able to stay only a short time before deteriorating enough to be moved to a differen institution.

I don't understand why people make this decision, though Mr. Loya seemed to be part of it. I can understand blind people selling their pictures and mobility-impaired people moving to smaller quarters without stairs, but if I were losing my memory I'd want to stay as close to as many memory triggers as possible; don't start "downsizing" my belongings, don't even dare to move them, if I'm going to remember them I'm going to remember them where I put them. 

But we as a society tell people that they "need to" be packed into barracks with a lot of strangers, and apparently some older people think there is some rational reason for this. 

 Anyway, before the move, Merv Loya and his son Kari did the Last Great Road Trip together. By bicycle. They trained and tested themselves for fitness and started pedaling their way across the continent, from Virginia to Oregon, along the Trans-American bike route. Of this trip Kari Loya made a book.

The format and content of the book may surprise, perhaps disappoint, readers. I do not recommend the e-book version. The publisher opted for two-column formatting, which is a pain to read on a screen. I sighed, I started typing a samizdat copy, I told myself (on page six of the samizdat version) that this review was overdue already. Nobody likes a reviewer who doesn't take the time to read a book properly, properly; a reviewer who takes more than a month may be even worse. Scroll up, scroll down. Read half a paragraph, scroll up, realize you needed to scroll down first. See half a picture. If you buy this book, it's worth buying a printed copy. Columns and pictures can actually work on a printed page.

But then another decision was made, apparently by Kari Loya, that the best way to capture the memory of a road trip with Merv Loya was not with literary essays, maps, reviews, or pictures of scenery, but mainly with snapshots of random people the Loyas met on the trip. Each state through which they rode gets a chapter; the longer part of each chapter is the pages with one, two, or three snapshots of faces and quotes from what people said during their conversations.

At his father's memorial service, Loya tells us, he pictured his father approaching the gates of Heaven. While others introduced themselves with their achievements and what they thought they had to offer to Heaven, Merv Loya would say, "Before I tell you what I've done, let me tell you about these fifteen other people I met on the stairs here, and why each of them will be a great addition to Heaven..."

Most of the people who contributed a face picture and a paragraph of conversation to this book aren't making the case for their admission to Heaven. Most don't even tell real stories, beyond where they came from and how they came to be on the route. They're making casual conversation with people they've met on the road. Some are fellow long-distance cyclists; some are hikers; some are local people or even motorists. Apart from a couple of aggressive drivers, Loya says, the people they met were friendly; cyclists are perceived as non-threatening, eccentric but not violent, not competing for jobs, likely to spend money freely, in the towns along the route. One man talked freely about his involvement in vice and crime. One woman talked about her experience in ministerial school. People provided abundant evidence of the current craze for travel-for-its-own-sake, even nomadism; in each state the Loyas met someone from a different state along their route. 

Though Finnish and Norwegian rather than Irish, Mr. Loya had been diagnosed as having celiac disease. Historically the celiac gene was spread through continental Europe, but it was extremely rare in the coastal countries and almost unknown as far inland as Finland. The diagnosis of celiac disease is often made by a simpler blood test rather than a DNA study. With so many non-Irish people showing celiac reactions on blood tests, it would be interesting to know how many of these people do have the celiac gene (via Norway, it's possible) and how many are having pseudo-celiac reactions to glyphosate residues in grain. The level of general understanding of either condition, along the trail, seems to be pathetic. One restaurant employee was able to assure the Loyas that everything on the menu was gluten-free; most of them didn't know what that meant. 

Mercifully, the Loyas, whose home base was near Tillamook, were lactose-tolerant and able to enjoy Tillamook ice cream. Burning off calories on their bikes, they apparently enjoyed a lot of it, though in one town they found only Ben and Jerry's and, apparently reacting to its novelty appeal, managed to consume two pints each. 

Trans Am cyclists, we are told, like to sleep cheap. One of the first things every cyclist learns is how to drape rain capes across bicycles to make a sort of tent, but after one miserable night in the open the Loyas discover phone apps that connect them to people who offer roofs and floors, even warm showers.  

And there's a mercifully terse vignette of another way a Last Great Road Trip can end, with the younger woman pleading for "an obese man" to stay with her, meaning alive...People do plan these things, cruel though it is to the younger women, who may not realize that the sugar-daddy type singing "I want to die in your arms tonight" just might mean it literally. Women at least seem to want to spare younger men that experience. 

Apart from those, the book gives few details about the actual trip. Mileage is charted in the appendix. I enjoyed Loya's vew of Wytheville, Virginia--not sure why a gluten-free diner would go to the Mexican restaurant when there used to be such a good Chinese one--and was disappointed that he found so little to say about Berea, Kentucky, or almost any other place between Virginia and Oregon. This book really is about what other people told the Loyas. 

Despite its shortcomings as a travel book (there are so many travel books already), this is a heartwarming story of family love. It will remind all readers who have parents who like road trips to share a good one now, while they can.