Friday's Bad Poetry: Your New Fashion Fad, the Cotton Tabard Sweater

(Notes below.)

Since every knitter always ought

to own the perfect sweater,

I thought about some ways to knit

a sweater that was better

than those I've worn in other years.

This one's for growing old

and sweating out a fever in 

a room that might feel cold

or really be cold, as I grow

more stubborn, each year older,

and seek to lower heating bills

by leaving the house colder.

Well. If you want to read or knit

while ice forms on your drink

and say "Of course I'm cozy in

my hand knit! What d'you think?"

then pull down vanity about

yarn that began as oil

and wear Red Heart acrylic, for

all weather it can foil..

But when you want to show a bit

of fashion sense remaining,

then choose a cozy cotton knit

requiring less explaining.

Being worked from side to side, it forms

stripes subtly up and down,

or they can be less subtly worked,

bright, cheerful as a clown.

And it can have a hood, a cowl,

or open boatneck top

for those who tend to overheat

and out of it will pop.

And seams are laced instead of sewn

so that you can decide

each time you put it on, how much

stays open at the side.

And front and back don't have to match

so it can form a blanket

down front alone, or back alone,

without a need to yank it

up on the other side. And it

can form a trendy, arty

diagonal line at waist and hip

if you think that looks smarty

or leaves space for a purse, a pocket,

a tv-remote,

a wheelchair brake, a service bell,

whatever floats your boat.

Mine is designed for typing even

if screen porch grows ice,

and having put it on, I thought,

"Though I knit nothing twice,

the 'sampler stitch stripes' could go on

for years without repeating,

and all who sit, at work, in bed,

one of them will be needing.

Oh, that was an imperfect rhyme!

My verse trademark is "Bad,"

so I'll compound my lit'ry crime

and publish this--an ad!"

Because my muse is snarky, it was hard to decide whom to add to the list of Bad Poetry I've already written about people who've influenced my life. I didn't particularly like the "Papa Don't Preach" one last year. I did like the one about my fourth grade math teacher, "Ode to Mr. Ed. --." 

https://priscillaking.blogspot.com/2018/02/educational-poem-ode-to-mr-ed.html 

So maybe posting that link will get it off my mind and I'll think of another one. Anyway, a poem about sensuous clothing is right up a knitter's alley, especially this winter as I've been designing and knitting the prototype Tabard Sweater. There ought to be a picture of it but I don't have even a bad digital camera...woe, wail...maybe I can knit and sell enough of these sweaters to buy one...

The poem jingled out naturally to about 350 words, Putting notes above the poem, I've been warned, messes up the word counter at the Poets & Storytellers United web site. This Blogspot page doesn't even have a word counter. Anyway, to stay inside the official word limit, I moved the notes to the bottom.

They cost $40 for a short shrug or bed jacket style, $60 for a tunic style, or $80 for a robe style, or half the price indicated if you already have the yarn. If I buy the yarn, acrylic is cheaper and other natural fibres are more expensive. If you have the yarn, the cost of knitting is the same--a little higher for lightweight yarn. Each tabard will be unique.