Priscilla Wants to Go to the Dogs

Oh yes you do know what this post is about. Although "go to the dogs" sometimes means "collapse," in U.S. English, like a house that slowly falls in so that the dogs can walk right into whatever is left of it, in this case you know from last week's post that this is the post in which we use the old "search engines know what you want" meme to lead up to some pictures of dogs "named" Priscilla who want homes.

So, izzy wizzy, let's get busy. Google thinks people named Priscilla, want:

1. Priscilla wants Instagram followers. Someone whose screen name is Priscillachambers is busily building a following of thousands on Instagram. Person claims to be a "transwoman." Nufsed. As a guess this person has paid Google generously for this message.

2. Priscilla wants to decolonize parenting. This is a person who accepts the dubious label "Latinx," which does interest me. I've never heard anyone say "Latinx" in Spanish and would like to know what this hybrid word sounds like. What she imagines "decolonize parenting" to mean, in English or Spanish or any other language, I'm not sure I want to know. It could logically mean speaking their ancestral languages and teaching children their ancestral culture, but I'm guessing it means put children into Socialist creches at an earlier age to make sure they're brought up as Socialists. Somehow one's expectations for people who identify as "Latinx" are lower than for people who identify as Latino/a.

3. Priscilla wants Elvis Presley. They are, of course, thinking of his widow. All I ever wanted of Elvis Presley was the omnibus album of his gospel songs. I have it. I am content. His non-gospel songs I can live quite happily without.

Fifteen years ago when I was the first "Priscilla King" Google had ever heard of, the Internet was a small enough social world that Google might have heard about something like the porn video, or videos, in which I allegedly appeared. At least people have tried to send things to my cell phone that they said were porn videos in which they said they thought I appeared. The cell phone does not play videos, which is one of several things I like about it. Studying some of those Photoshoppy "where are they now?" sites in which all those dead celebrities are reportedly living in the same posh compound on the same beach, I have issued an official pronouncement on the Photoshopped porn videos: You should not even look unless they've paired me off with Elvis Presley, and I'm not going to look unless they've paired me off with President Kennedy. (Seeing as how my eyes had hardly opened when he was shot, I think any storyline that put him and me in the same place would have to be at least funny.) 

4. Priscilla wants a wedding dress. Well, last week, somewhere there undoubtedly was a Priscilla who felt that she needed a wedding, and it is pleasant to think that now that's settled and that poor woman only wants a wedding dress. I hope somebody makes it possible for her to afford a nice one.

5. From "Casablanca Bridal." I hope that place is of service to that Priscilla, whoever and wherever she may be.

6. Priscilla wants...Sofia Coppola. I had to click to find out what the connection was. Apparently Ms. Coppola wants to make a movie about the life of Elvis Presley's widow. Whatever.

7. Priscilla wants...San Antonio. My grandmother was from Panola County, Texas, but some of my other relatives live in and around San Antonio. It is a charming, historic city. I've visited them there. I wrote an historical romance about the history of the place, once. While writing I would have liked to have had time and money to revisit the place, and look up more things, and get more ideas for sub-plots. Unfortunately that wasn't in the budget. 

8. Priscilla wants...country singer. I had to look that one up to. Apparently somebody called Priscilla Block wants to be a country singer and, by some measures of success, she already is one. She does not have a following here, among people who favor the Carter Family, the classic Grand Ole Opry, the Old Ridgerunner Show, the Rabbit Show, and or The Possum. She has a chunky figure and a hairdo that looks as if it were achieved by pinning three or four different hairpieces together and plunking them down on her head. Her most popular songs include an affirmation of her preferring extra fries to exercise. She does not seem likely to replace Loretta Lynn or Reba McEntire, but "Thick Thighs" clearly speaks for a large portion of her generation. Heaven help them. She's been on what we now have in the way of a Grand Ole Opry and has about a dozen videos on You Tube. She has a nice voice. I hope we can get a glyphosate ban in time for this young woman to be able to enjoy exercise and vegetables; she may never fit into Dolly Parton's shoes but she sounds like someone who deserves a chance to become a grandmother.

"Thick Thighs" follows the commercial here.

9. Priscilla (Presley) wants you to stop calling Elvis a racist. Glad to oblige. People my age called him old, fat, and a has-been during his last years, but I never heard he was a racist, except in the Contemporary Clueless sense of "anyone who is not Black." And I wish the contemporary clueless would drop that. Sanctimonious political rhetoric has made many Americans proud to be Adorably Deplorable. At a "conservative" forum, a few weeks ago, someone snarkily saluted a loyal husband helping his wife fight cancer for his "toxic masculinity," meaning toxic to sanctimonious left-wing feminitwits. Reclaiming that sort of words from political abuse is, I can see, sort of funny. I don't think America is ready for people to try reclaiming "racist." The real thing is occasionally still found outside of a nursing home or other qualified institution, and still dangerous. 

And Google just goes on about these humans and all their human whims, but let us jump to the important result of our search: Priscilla the dog wants a good home. 

Priscilla from Puerto Rico 

Like many of the U.S. citizens of Puerto Rico, when she left the island (yesterday), she came to New York City. Priscilla Pup is thought to be one year old and mostly Labrador retriever, likely to grow bigger than she is now. She likes "kissing" humans. This is her first day on the mainland. Her web page is https://www.petfinder.com/dog/priscilla-58597224/nj/pittstown/lost-paws-animal-rescue-nj507/ .

Priscilla from Potomac 

When I opened Petfinder, the site took me directly to the page for pets called Priscilla in Georgia, but they said they didn't have one. How not? All popular given names for humans are given to shelter pets but it seems people in Atlanta don't usually leave pets in shelters for very long. This Priscilla was a problem pup so they sent her up to Maryland, to a ritzy suburb where it's hoped someone can afford to pay her vet bills. In addition to being spayed and vaccinated Priscilla Pit has had surgery on a leg. She is said to be a very clever, serious, responsible dog, the sort who wants to have a job. At the shelter she was left to choose her own way to show her work ethic. She chose to become a Shoe Manager. She likes to collect all the shoes and store them on and around her bed to make sure less responsible puppies don't try to eat them. Priscilla can't help it if her ancestors were dreaded Pit Bull Terriers. She has been brought up to be a cuddly pet, Her $350 "adoption fee" covers veterinary expenses, most of which are thought to be behind her. Her web page is https://www.petfinder.com/dog/priscilla-57745451/md/potomac/forever-changed-animal-rescue-md520/ .

Priscilla from Pontiac 

The photo settings are unusual because this Priscilla Pup is already a large dog--69 pounds and still growing. Her ancestors include police dogs and collies. She may tolerate a little gushing about looking like a wolf with a fluffy coat if she has a serious, responsible job with someone who is strong, fast, and tough enough to keep up with her. Her web page is https://www.petfinder.com/dog/priscilla-57605575/mi/pontiac/oakland-county-animal-shelter-and-pet-adoption-center-mi369/ .