If I Could Invent a New Holiday

This week's Long And Short Reviews question is, "If you could invent a new holiday, what would it be?" 

LOL. As this blog may have made clear, I tend to think of holidays as something to forget. I like the ideas behind some holidays but don't like the idea of pressure to interrupt business to celebrate some silly thing that may or may not be relevant to anyone I know. 

Internet writers like Lady Samantha back in the Associated Content years, or Messy Mimi now, have published lists of some less widely known holidays with the potential of being great fun--as long as people celebrate them privately, without inconvenience to anyone else. I'm in favor of letting employees to whom the days don't mean much open buildings even on Christmas Day. Most people may want to stay home and celebrate the holidays with their families. Some people don't. Let them do business-as-usual on Christmas Day in exchange for taking days off to observe Duck Hatching Day/

Maybe instead of inventing a new holiday I'd like to invent new ways to observe some old ones, with an emphasis on movable and occasional holidays like End the Stupid War Already Day, to be celebrated whenever a war ends. This would be the day to rush out and buy things the stores have been advertising since the stupid war started, and send them to people in the countries where common sense and decency have at last reappeared. The emphasis would be on whatever people in those countries have had trouble finding during their war, and might include things like food, new shoes and underwear, plumbing and building maintenance supplies, citrus fruit and lipstick for cold countries, apples and T-shirts for hot ones. Depending on your budget suitable gifts might include anything from a box of pencils to a truckload of cement. Cards would say things like "I'm so glad not to have to worry about your stupid war any more."

Then there would be things like Perfect Weather Day, First Snow Day, and Badly Needed Rain Day, which are of course celebrated by going out and revelling in the weather. 

Instead of Bank Holidays, there might be Garden Holidays, which are celebrated on the days of pivotal importance to local gardens, like Fruit Picking Day, Potato Digging Day, or Strawberry Covering Day.