Some years ago a high school math teacher in Hawkins County, Tennessee, who moonlighted as a strip dancer was dismissed from her teaching job, but not prosecuted for a crime, after admitting to a consensual sexual relationship with an 18-year-old student. The teacher was only four years ahead of the boy in school, and reportedly hardly even three years older. This was before the newspapers went online; Google shows no reports of the incident.
The year after this item made the news, two of The Nephews were pulled out of (a different) public school in Hawkins County, an elementary school, and enrolled in schools out of state.
The story gets stranger over the years. In 2015 a 44-year-old Hawkins County teacher was prosecuted for running the strip club in a way that promoted prostitution. In 2019, even after that teacher was banned from school premises and the club was shut down, another Hawkins County public school teacher, who would have been 25 years old at the time, was prosecuted on several criminal charges after admitting to a consensual sexual relationship with a student who was not yet 18 at the time.
The author of this document thinks the penalties for the teachers were fair. The author also thinks that more might be said about any personal relationship between any teacher and any student...even in university, where students pursuing "continuing education" or "second careers" are often older than the teachers. It is unfair to the entire class for a teacher to do anything with or for one student that s/he can’t do with or for the others. True Love would wait until the student had finished the course.
So this stripper/teacher deserves a little vignette...a burlesque...I’m not familiar with strip dance acts; strip dance fans will have to forgive me for imagining this woman’s act as a less artistic version of one from toward the end of Gypsy.
(Bell rings. Teacher slinks up the middle row, sliding a lacy shawl across her shoulders. Her rhyming lines form some sort of a tune. At this period the idea of a "twelve-tone row" that used all the keys on the piano, rather than forming a traditional harmonic arrangement around a single key note, was in style so notes that are technically right, but sound wrong, are appropriate. She is wearing what appears at first glance to be a long skirt with a lot of ruffles but is, in fact, a bundle of skirts in different lengths, shortest outside. She is not pretty enough to have been offered a receptionist job but she certainly is firm and fit, from the job she currently does.)
Teacher: Take your math books out, pay attention and learn.
I’m hot! I’m on fire! Oh, how I burn!
Turn to page two hundred and eighty-three.
How many items of clothing can you see?
Girl: Nineteen.
Teacher: How’d you guess?
Girl: You wore the same outfit last week.
Teacher (very very sweetly): Take this (throws shawl at student), and a zero!
I need a good man, a true lover, a hero!
Down to eighteen things, number eighteen is goin’! (Drops glove on boy’s desk.)
How much will I take off? No knowin’! (Drops other glove on another boy’s desk.)
Which of you boys solved the first equation?
Boy: X equals 5.
Teacher: Aren’t you glad you’re getting a good education!
Girls: (snores)
Teacher (shimmying out of the outermost skirt):
Edu-mony—matri-cation—is my de-si-re!
I’m hot! I’m burning up! I’m on fire!
Boys: Teacher Teacher I declare
I can see your underwear!
Teacher: Not yet, you don’t!
(Picks up a ruler and beats time on a desk.)
The second equation, who solved it for Y?
Boy: Y equals 72.
Teacher: You can learn anything if you try!
Ooh! There goes a garter! Well, I’ve got another.
You can take this one home and show it to your brother. (Tosses garter across the room.)
Third equation?
Boy: X equals fourteen.
Teacher: A college degree sure improved my cavortin’!
Go to college! Get some knowledge! Then you can see,
In the fourth equation, X is five and Y is three!
(Slaps boy on wrist with ruler, picks up garter, and hands it to him.)
Boy (very young for his age): Uh, Teacher, if X is five and Y is three, how can 2 X + Y be 26?
Teacher: Oh! Stop asking inappropriate questions!
Can’t you ever think of any kinky suggestions?
Girls: Teacher Teacher I declare
I can see your underwear!
I’ll tell Ma! Ma’ll tell Pa!
You’ll lose your teaching job! Ha, ha, ha!
Teacher (starting to dance her way out of another skirt): That’s too kinky!
CURTAIN
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