Wednesday, April 15, 2015

What a Difference a K Makes: History of Washington, D.C.

(Reclaimed from Bubblews, where this was one of four collections of ten puns I posted on January 17, 2014, as suggested by the Washington Post Style Invitational: www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/style-invitational-week-1055-a-k-contest-to-honor-the-k-of-1k-blots-of-ink-plus-anagrams/2014/01/09/23b1ca62-7693-11e3-8963-b4b654bcc9b2_story.html . Image credit: Clarita at Morguefile.com. There's actually a traditional system by which people used to recognize the various saints portrayed in Orthodox Church ikons, but I don't know it and have no idea whether any of these is St. James.)



These puns commemorate places and people around Washington, D.C., as suggested in the Invitation:

Shaky Grove: Metrorail terminus suffers earthquake.

Washington Tikes: Afternoon newspaper for small children and dogs.

Kill McKinley: Instructions to the hitman.

Jakes Monroe: Start of an alarming trend in naming restrooms.

James Mad Ikon: Putin reports vision in which saint's image chastises him for suppressing international news reporters.

U.K. Grant: In the event of a Confederate victory the Union general, having already changed his name twice, planned to move to England...

Ruther Fork Hayes: Barely literate laborer applies for promotion from muck-shovelling job.

Herbert Hooker: Arrested during his first hour on 14th & T Streets, the businessman pleaded temporary insanity induced by heavy losses in the stock market.

Jimmy Carker: Author of protest literature, known for his frown.
Keggy Cafritz: Instead of using family foundation money for good causes such as wheelchair access, the degenerate heir squandered it on beer.