Title: Imperfect Mates, Perfect
Marriage
Author: Diane Hampton
Publisher: Whitaker House
Date: 1985
ISBN: 0-88368-173-0
Length: 120 pages
Quote: “Begin to memorize fond
moments and store precious treasures.”
In 1985 some people wanted the concepts
of marriage and family life to have become obsolete, in a Brave New
World of lonely nomads whose loyalty was to the state. People my age
were being told that nobody really stayed with one mate for life,
that previous generations got by without no-fault divorce because
people died earlier. Nevertheless there were quite a few people out
there who had made marriage work for twenty or thirty or fifty years.
Every Christian publisher wanted to print a book of their advice.
Imperfect Mates Perfect Marriage is
one of those books.
Will it work for
you? Probably some of this advice will work for you. Then again the
ideas that work for you might be the ones you're already using.
“Men care about
the tires on the car because they're concerned about the safety of
the family.”
“When
a man is very tired and very hungry, he is also likely to be very
grouchy!”
“If the woman who
made an effort to keep her house neat had been looking to the Lord
for her reward and not her husband, she would not have been
disappointed.”
“He showed no
sympathy and little concern when I wasn't feeling well...Today, I
enjoy excellent health.”
“Spending time
with your husband is more important than the laundry.”
“It used to
bother me to hear people in mental hospitals quote from the Bible
with great accuracy...They always directed the verses at other people
in a negative way.”
“Learn to desire
your husband, to wish for, crave, and want him.”
Notice something
missing...yes, this is another book about what wives can do, with
little attention given to what husbands can do. Men, beware! Once
women start thinking it's up to us to make ourselves feel loved and
appreciated, we have no further use for men.
Diane
Hampton is obviously a wife, who is best qualified to advise wives.
So far, so good...but the one-sided quality of the advice to wives
Christian publishers were printing in the 1980s was a leading reason
why young women were rejecting the whole idea of Christian marriage
at this period. I did eventually settle down, and I'm glad I did. But
I'm also glad I settled down with a man who understood that if
he wanted the kind of wife people like Hampton wrote about, he had to
become the same kind of husband.
A man can't just pick a church, walk in, pick an attractive woman,
and take it for granted that she's going to encourage and support him
in every way. He has to offer the kind of support and encouragement
he wants. Not only that, he has to go first.
Women
who've been happily married for a while are likely to read Imperfect
Mates Perfect Marriage and feel
validated, which is pleasant, but they're not the audience to whom I
most enthusiastically recommend this book. I think the people who
really need it are men. You guys want somebody to do this kind of
thing for you, right? Well, then, you have to do it too, not even
“back,” but first. When women say we want men to be leaders, this
is the kind of leadership we have in mind. The only way anyone who is
able to do a job, or even fit to bear children, is going to meet you
in the door and wash and massage your feet after a long day at work,
is if you do that for her first.
The biorhythm chart
on page 96, all by itself, would have been worth the price of this
skinny paperback book when it was new. However, in order to enjoy the
full benefit of the biorhythm chart, men still need to read the text
and ponder what Hampton describes as a “perfect marriage.” Yes,
this is what millions of women want to give. It is also what we want
to get back.
Diane Hampton is still alive and writing (diet books, these days), so Imperfect Mates Perfect Marriage is a Fair Trade Book. Although Hampton seems to preserve her privacy on the Internet, which is fine, if you pay $5 per book + $5 per package for shipping we'll take the time and money to send a real letter in care of her publishers so that she or a charity of her choice will receive $1. (If you buy eight copies of this small book, you send us $45 and we send Hampton or her charity $8.) Payment may be sent to either address at the bottom of the screen.
Diane Hampton is still alive and writing (diet books, these days), so Imperfect Mates Perfect Marriage is a Fair Trade Book. Although Hampton seems to preserve her privacy on the Internet, which is fine, if you pay $5 per book + $5 per package for shipping we'll take the time and money to send a real letter in care of her publishers so that she or a charity of her choice will receive $1. (If you buy eight copies of this small book, you send us $45 and we send Hampton or her charity $8.) Payment may be sent to either address at the bottom of the screen.
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