Friday, August 19, 2016

Best of the Spam Folder, or How Not to Get There

[Cut from the Link Log due to length.]

Although Candidate Trump has reportedly gone to Louisiana for the sort of photo-op with disaster victims that candidates and state-level politicians can rarely resist, Michael Moore is still claiming (with partisan political motivations showing, of course) that Trump is not a serious candidate. I wanted to discuss this a bit because, although I've signed up for Moore's e-mails, and for Mark Warner's and for Ben Carson's and for several other people's, I seldom see them...and I found a lot of good things in the spam folder today. Why was I even looking at the spam folder? Because Congressman Griffith's E-Newsletter had got into it somehow.

The usual reason why good e-mail goes into the spam folder is that people forget and send out e-mails containing too many pictures, or too detailed, too blow-up-into-poster-friendly, in some ways too good pictures. That aaaallllways seems to happen with Senator Warner's e-mail. It's frustrating, but then it's also frustrating when I try to read e-mail from a computer like the dear little Sickly Snail and one "good" picture crashes the whole system, because pictures are memory hogs. That's why Yahoo automatically misfiles picture-burdened e-mail as spam.

Another reason is that, in order to filter out the garbage that offers to enhance your "manhood" even if you're a woman, Yahoo has an insanely tight filter for vulgar words. Since it's all done by computer, headlines containing things like "Homo sapiens," "former Vice-President Dick Cheney," and "the town of Hell, Michigan" are guaranteed to cause Yahoo to file e-mails as spam. I'm not sure what algorithm they use to allow a few e-mails containing phrases like "natural honey is more contaminated than corn syrup" or "I'm mad as Hell and I'm not going to take this any more" to get through, while others don't...but if you want me to see your e-mail, Gentle Readers, please keep it extremely clean. Remember I'm an aunt!

Anyway, this morning I got into an e-conversation with Congressman Griffith's e-mail aide about what had happened to this week's E-Newsletter. Sure enough, it had been misfiled as spam, possibly because it mentions medical marijuana. Well, no worries, it's not a tacky spam offer to sell you that! It's forthcoming; some Virginians may want to weigh in on this topic, though all I, personally, ask is that anyone selling medical marijuana sell it in a non-smokable form.

But this e-mail from Michael Moore happened to be in the spam folder right beside Congressman Griffith's, and it was picture-free. It was getting filed as spam because it contained a few rude words. Now, if you've read Moore's books, and if you've talked to people on the streets of our big cities these days, you know that Michael Moore is not an especially foulmouthed fellow. He uses just enough rude words to sound, y'know, sort of hip and peppery, the way he is, by D.C. or New York or Detroit standards. That's what I wanted to mention here. You cannot sound that way in Yahoo e-mail if you want people to read your e-mails. I'm not the one who panics at the sight of words like "crazy," and as far as I'm concerned, if you're in or from Michigan you're entitled to say whatever your sense of neighborliness allows you to say about Hell. On Yahoo, however, you are dealing with an hysterically hypersensitive machine. So beware, be-e-e-ware. (Many good e-mails are asleep in the deep...) also need to know that the original e-mail was longer than this. (More slang and vulgarisms, yes.) I tried to post it as a link that would fit into the Link Log, and Google wouldn't let me, possibly because Moore used Yahoo to type it. But here's the election theory/joke, for those who enjoy such...slangy reference to the little tourist town cut, per this site's contractual obligation, because he didn't capitalize the name of Hell:

Soon, though, his karma caught up with him. Calling Mexicans “rapists” should have disqualified him on Day One (or for saying Obama wasn’t born here, as he did in 2011). No, it took 13 months of racist, sexist, stupid comments before he finally undid himself with the trifecta of attacking the family of a slain soldier, ridiculing the Purple Heart and suggesting that the pro-gun crowd assassinate Hillary Clinton. By this past weekend, the look on his face said it all — “I hate this! I want my show back!” But it was too late. He was damaged goods, his brand beyond repair, a worldwide laughing stock — and worse, a soon-to-be loser.

But, let me throw out another theory, one that assumes that Trump isn’t as dumb or crazy as he looks.

Maybe the meltdown of the past three weeks was no accident. Maybe it’s all part of his new strategy to get [...] out of a race he never intended to see through to its end anyway. Because, unless he is just “crazy,” the only explanation for the unusual ramping up, day after day, of one disgustingly reckless statement after another is that he’s doing it consciously (or subconsciously) so that he’ll have to bow out or blame “others” for forcing him out. Many now are sensing the end game here because they know Trump seriously doesn’t want to do the actual job — and, most importantly, he cannot and WILL NOT suffer through being officially and legally declared a loser — LOSER! — on the night of November 8th.

Here's the Amazon link to one of Moore's better vintage documentaries:

And here's a page at his web site that...disappoints me. I was hoping to see more evidence of more people winning the Modern-Day Battle of the Bulge here. What are youall waiting for? My crummy cheap-phone pictures? You seriously think Michael Moore would look at the kind of pictures the Tracfone takes? I know some of you have got to have better cell phones than that. Share, please!

Now to post this...Google + doesn't like that picture of that video? Say whaaat? Oh, right, because it's too big. Let's try another Amazon-linked picture.