Book Review: The Ghost Convention

Title: The Ghost Convention

Author: B.A. Rose

Date: 2019

Quote: "When she isn't running into people, or being late, she's a wonderful event planner."

Traditional publishers, according to self-published B.A. Rose, live in a strange and wonderful world. They fall in love and have sex with superhuman intensity. When they crawl out of bed, they talk to ghosts, solve long-past murders, and eat sugary junkfood to replenish their psychic energy. Then they go out to dinner and eat full-fat traditional food treats from deep-fried Chinese meat dumplings through Italian pasta pig-outs through good ol' American pancakes with butter, syrup, and bacon, while telling each other how good they look since they burn off all the calories through all that sex. Oh, and sometimes, in between times, they snatch a moment to do trendy vacation things like swimming or riding horses--not that they have to bother with keeping horses; they just flit off to places where horses are kept. Once in a while they even remember the way to the office long enough to squeeze in a few minutes of work.

I don't think I even want to read about the decadence of being a traditional publisher. I felt my character softening just reading this ridiculous romance, in which everyone constantly urges everyone else to relax, let go, and indulge even more than they're already doing. 

No one could possibly approve of this novel so the author went ahead and left in every detail of which body parts were caressed in which order, I think every single time Daisy and Lucas flopped into bed. I may have missed something. I wasn't using the novel as a marital aid so I skimmed a lot. It is amazing how boring detailed sex scenes are when you're not trying to get into the mood to stage your own. For those who do want to get into the mood, if this novel won't get you there...either you're not really trying, or your body might respond better to bare-naked lettuce and exercise. In real life, bacon and syrup do have built-in limitations.

Do not store this book in a place where school-aged children are likely to be. Someone might die of embarrassment. But it's a hoot!