On my Google + page, I groused that this site was slow in returning my "Inner Mean Girl Score" because I don't think I actually have an "Inner Mean Girl." At least I don't spend a lot of time beating myself up. However, in aid of the artist known as Sark and her friends who created this quiz, I will share the profile of the Inner Mean Girls (or guys) some of us carry around in our minds, beating us up. If you're living with any of these creeps, you might want to use the links to send your Inner Meanie to reform school. Amy Ahlers and Christine Arylo have written a book on this topic.
The Comparison Queen is your inner judge who assesses the success of your life by comparing you to other people or to where she thinks you should be, or used to be, which in her eyes is never enough. She makes you feel like an inadequate failure or like you are falling behind and not measuring up. She can also compare your best to everyone else’s worst so that you feel superior.
Comparison Queen Instant De-Activator: Transform comparison into inspiration. Ask yourself, “What about this person inspires me?” And then tell that person they inspired you. Let their self expression inspire you into inspired action for yourself. (See page 12 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
The Rejection Queen is the one who is deathly afraid of being rejected, unloved, and alone. Her job is to convince you that you are unlovable and doomed to be alone and that people don’t really want you around, showing you just how unsafe it is to let people in. And she’s great at choosing unhealthy relationships for you, to prove her theories. She makes you feel lonely and left out, like you don’t belong, and like it’s just safer to be on your own.
Rejection Queen Instant De-Activator: Collect evidence of how lovable you are. Write an "I Love Me” list of the 5 things you most love about yourself. (See page 32 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Martyr Instant De-Activator: Collect evidence of wealthy people doing good. Do a search for people in your field (art, cause, social movement, spiritual community) that have both abundance and creativity and use them to inspire you and your mission. (See page 26 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Head Tripper Instant De-Activator: Get out of your head and tune into your body. Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, take three deep breaths and notice how your body feels. Say out loud, “My body feels… My body is telling me …" (See page 22 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Invincible Superwoman Instant De-Activator: Delegate with joy. Give at least one task to someone else, release control and celebrate the space you just created for yourself! (See page 24 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Achievement Junkie Instant De-Activator: Acknowledge yourself. Stop, drop & celebrate by naming three things you have accomplished already today or this year...no matter how small! (See page10 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Drama Queen Instant De-Activator: Turn your focus inside and get truthful. Have a self honesty moment and ask yourself, "What am I avoiding feeling or dealing with - inside of myself and my life?” (See page 16 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Worry Wart Instant De-Activator: Remember the worst-case scenerio hardly ever happens. Tell yourself that the odds are in your favor that what you worry about will rarely, if ever, come true. Focus on what you're grateful for right now & feel your Worry Wart anxiety fade. (See page 34 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Doing Addict Instant De-Activator: Take a daily pause. Set a soothing alarm on your phone to stop once per day this week. When the sound goes off, pause, put your hand on your heart and take 3 deep breaths. Ahh rest feels good. (See page
14 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Fixer and Rescuer
Fixer and Rescuer Instant De-Activator: Practice a radical act of self-care. Ask yourself, “What do I need today?” and do that something just for you! (See page 18 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Perfectionist Instant De-Activator: Instead of going for the A+ on a lower priority project (like dishes or an email to your best friend), go for the B-! Ask yourself, “What would good enough look like?” or "What would an average person do?" and just do that. (See page 30 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Good Girl Instant De-Activator: Say “NO!”. Respond “No, thank you” or “No, I can’t” to at least one request today and notice how the world didn't fall apart! (See page 20 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.)
Overly Optimistic, Partying Cheerleader
Overly Optimistic Partying Cheerleader Instant De-Activator: Feel. Instead of trying to escape your feelings or hard truth, stop, sit down, and ask yourself, “What feeling am I trying to avoid?” Let yourself have the feeling and watch possibilities open up. (See page 28 in the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl book for more.) "