Teenagers and Miniskirts in Winter

(Fair disclosure: The first paragraph of this story appears as a comment on Townhall Daily at http://townhall.com/columnists/billoreilly/2012/12/01/teenage_werewolves?utm_source=thdaily&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nl. The rest of the story is here, in the hope that it may help some teenaged girls and their parents understand each other.)

 My sisters were of course the smartest, nicest, most mature, and just about the prettiest 14-year-olds in their day, but even they were vulnerable to social bullying. I didn't try to argue with the one who put on the skimpy skirt on the 25-degree morning, but went out to wait for the bus with her in my office clothes. Some little troll who didn't even have a quilted jacket made a comment like "Why is she wearing boots? It's not snowing." I was flabbergasted, a few weeks later, to find a page torn out of the sister's diary where she'd written about how hurt and embarrassed she felt. Did she think I cared what that troll thought? Did SHE care?

(Yes, both sisters were fourteen years old in the same school year. No, they're not twins. One was officially supposed to be my housemate's foster daughter, and I was supposed to be the backup foster parent--but since she was the same age as my natural-born sister, I call her my other sister.)

My first idea was to try to boost the sister's self-esteem. I didn't try to destroy any natural sense of modesty by telling her she was worth ten of the troll, any day, although I still think that's true. I just said, "Do you know anything about that poor little kid who was shivering in that jersey that's too small for her, that cold morning when I was waiting for the bus with you? Have you tried to find out what the problem is?"

Did not work. When I was fourteen I don't think I would have found it difficult to buy a package of secondhand winter gear and offer it, dripping with empathy, to somebody who was trying to bully other kids into wearing miniskirts and too-tight jerseys in January. Probably the other sister wouldn't have, either. This sister is by far the most kindhearted one. She couldn't just look down on the troll. She wanted the troll and the troll's friends to like her.

So we had a family conference, and got a rumor going: "Even though this is a public school, there's a lot of parental concern about peer pressure. The PTA is going to vote on a uniform. Everybody's legs, male and female, are going to be completely covered by khaki slacks."

And I think that did work...though by that time the weather had warmed up anyway.